The Jewish Samurai

[Patrick]

 
Once upon a time, a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai. After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese, and a Jewish Samurai.
 
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.  The Japanese Samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box, and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two! "What a feat!" said he Emperor. "Number Two Samurai, show me what you do."
 
The Chinese Samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and * Swish!* *Swish! the fly fell to the floor neatly quartered. "That is skill!" nodded the Emperor. 'How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?"
 
The Jewish Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around! In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead." "Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai…
 

 
"Dead is easy... but circumcised?"
 
 

[DirtyDan]

Funny funny funny

Dan

[czuch]

I love that one.
Jewish Mom is turning 92.
She has 3 sons of which she is very proud. However none can come.
One own s a construction company.
One owns a Mercedes dealership, one is a Rabbi.
The son with the construction company builds her a 20 room mansion.
The son with a Mercedes dealership sends her a fully loaded, top of the line Mercedes with a Mercedes trained German driver.
The Rabbi, sends her a parrot. Not just any parrot mind you, this particular parrot has been trained by a team of rabbinical scholars for 10 years. He knopws the entire Talmud and the story behind it by just naming the verse.
The day comes and goes. Mom is wrighting out her thank you notes.
"My son, the house is very nice. I'm an old woman, I live in one room but I have to keep 20 rooms clean, but its a nice house".
"My son, the car is very nice. I'm an old woman and I just go to the doctor once a month. The driver is a nice man, but he eats me out of house and home. But, its a nice car".
And to her son the Rabbi, "The chicken was delicious".

[Bighead]

 

[firea100]

How they say... oye vey!!! (please excuse the spelling)