Random thoughts

[Momz]

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.   People get out of the way much faster now.
 
 
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body.

 
I didn't make it to the gym today.That makes five years in a row.
 
 
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

 
Old age is coming at a really bad time.

 
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment.
Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

 
The biggest lie I tell myself is,"I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

 
I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

 
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

 
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

 
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

 
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

[Mr Whiskey]

"Ya know the whatchamacallit that's connected to the thingamajig, well it's missin' the bamboozel & that's causin' alot a flimflam so I gotta do up the dodad!"

[art]

I am hard of hearing so one day while walking to the car from shopping she was behind me talking . Like usual I asked her what she was saying and she got mad as usual. I turned to her and said either you speak up or shut up,WOW!. I still can't hear her. That's old age.