Car accident

[Patrick]

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you
probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the
freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything,
however your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
 
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9,000 in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new
penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1,000
an inch."
 
The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many
inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over
thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.
If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be
a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only
invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important
that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
 

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back
the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
 
"Yes I have," says the man.
 
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
 
"Yes" says the man.
 
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
 
"We're getting new granite counter tops.