Wheelie bin

[Patrick]

In Australia , the curbside garbage carts are called "wheelie bins."
 
A garbage collector is driving along a Sydney street picking up the
wheelie bins and emptying them into his rubbish truck.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out. In the spirit
of kindness and after having a quick look about for the bin, he gets
out of his truck, goes to the front door and knocks.
 
There's no answer.
Being a conscientious bloke, he knocks again - much harder.
 
Eventually, a Japanese man comes to the door.
 
"Harro!" says the Japanese man.
 
"G'day mate, where's ya' bin?" asks the collector.
 
"I bin on toilet," explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed.
 
Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again.
.
"No mate, where's ya' dust bin?"
 
"I dust been to toilet, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man, still perplexed.
 
"Listen," says the garbage collector. "You're misunderstanding me. I
mean, where's ya' wheelie bin?'"
 
"OK, OK. " replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin, and whispers
in the collector's ear.

"I wheelie bin having sex wiffa wife's sista!!!"
 

[Serk]

A Japanese man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. The man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen?"

The clerk replies, "Fluctuations." As the man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and angrily says, "Fluck you Americans, too!"

[The emperor has no clothes]

A Japanese man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. The man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen?"

The clerk replies, "Fluctuations." As the man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and angrily says, "Fluck you Americans, too!"

[Jess from VA]

 

I reary rike stories with fractured Engrish.  

Translate this:

Der dago tousant busses inaro.

Nojo der trux sommit cowson sommit dux.

[John Schmidt]

I reary rike stories with fractured Engrish.  

Translate this:

Der dago tousant busses inaro.

Nojo der trux sommit cowson sommit dux.

There they go, thousand buses in a row.
No Joe, they're trucks. Some with cows and some with ducks.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I used to teach in a black neighborhood, all my students were of that color and you had to learn the language of clipped words and words run together.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Another story/joke.....
A woman close to middle-age had never been married, nor had she ever experienced love making. So she went to see this Oriental doctor that was recommended, possibly he could help.

He took one look at her and said "take off alla you clofes."  Which she did.
He then told her "get on hands an knees, cwal to other side room."  Which she did.
He then tells her "now cwal back."  Which she did.
He shakes his head and says "oo gots ed zachery disease."  She's devastated and asked what it is.
He tells her "vewy simple, oo face look ed zachery like oo butt."

[..]

Heard at your local cocktail lounge 30 years ago.

Dust em off and recycle 

[Serk]

Heard at your local cocktail lounge 30 years ago.

Dust em off and recycle 

Even 30 years ago, cocktail lounges didn't let 14 year olds in...

[..]

Lance Armstrong nearly won the recent 1.5 billion lottery.

But he was a ball short.