DDT (12)
Member
Posts: 4120
Sometimes ya just gotta go...
Winter Springs, FL - Occasionally...
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« on: February 10, 2016, 08:30:32 PM » |
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Tour de Dixie (Part Three)
If you are younger than, say, 50 or so, then you might not be able to relate to this next part… yet. We rode away from Nohead City headed west… I’d figured on taking us to the barn, since Florida wasn’t going to happen this time out, but… I left the door open for adventure should opportunity arise. For example, if a wild hair should suddenly take hold of me, we might just continue on to Texas or New Mexico… Arizona has been on my mind lately, too…
We didn’t depart at the crack of dawn, however, mostly because it was pretty cold out (low 20s), partly because Nick was preparing one of his sensational breakfasts which are always worth a modest delay, and partly because I knew I would ‘gain an hour’ when we crossed back into the central time zone before we got home. And then there was this… (If your sensibilities are delicate, you may want to skip the next couple of paragraphs…)
My pooperosity level was approaching the upper end of the scale, but it was not quite time yet… nor would it be for some undetermined but not too lengthy period of time. Since these events can’t be ‘scheduled’ or predicted with any precision, nor can they be ‘rushed’, we just have to deal with them. Just another factor to take into account in trip planning these days, but I’m still not at the point where I’m ready to allow it to dictate my ride schedules… for the most part…
Should I hang around and wait for what surely would follow at some point? Nah, no telling how much time I might lose, and I was pining to be back on the road. If I did depart with that looming large on the horizon, then I’d be risking the need ‘to go’ at an inopportune time or place… or both. A real dilemma! I chose the latter anyway… to throw caution to the wind and roll the dice…
About 75 miles down the back roads I was traveling, I realized that the needle on the pooperosity scale had moved, and it was now entering into the dreaded ‘imminent’ zone. We were in the middle of farm country… cleared fields and pastures, with no woods or other emergency ‘landing zones’ anywhere to be seen! Dang, talk about an inopportune time and place! It was now a race to see if I could find a more suitable depository, or if I would have to risk being arrested for public pooping…
As my anxiety was approaching the tears level, a sign appeared announcing a McDonalds up ahead in the next small hamlet! WOW! Looked like I’d still have to fight back tears, but now they would be tears of joy!!! That is, if I could hold off another seven miles or so…
Just as I entered that little town, I spotted a new Bojangles on my side of the road, and it was open! I could see the McDonalds further on down the road, but it was on the other side of the road… Didn’t matter, though, closer was by far the best option no matter which side it was on!
Well, I made it. In spite of delays with the delayering process that torments bikers in cold weather when immediate needs strike, everything worked out. Close call, to be sure, but once again Fate had smiled kindly upon this undeserving but most grateful gypsy dude…
Now I could relax and really enjoy the ride! Back roads all the way into South Carolina coupled with gradually, grudgingly, warming temps made this guy very, very happy. My goober grin was at its broadest, my thoughts were all of good things, and my heart was filled with hope and promise of better things ahead. I’m thinking a good poop just might be one of life’s most underrated pleasures.
Hubcap Mike had suggested a back road, east – west route across South Carolina that I’d intended to ride, but I just hadn’t had the convenient opportunity to do so yet… Now I did have such, and the timing for such a ride was perfect… I had plenty of time and no particular place to be, the weather was great, albeit brisk, and I was already nearby where I’d need to get onto HWY 34.
Actually, I’d deliberately chosen my route and entry point into South Carolina with that particular road in mind, so it wasn’t entirely coincidental I was there. Plans, however, have a way of changing… especially if navigation happens to not be your strong suit… A word about that…
I don’t think I’m particularly bad at ‘navigation’, per se, although that sometimes appears to be the result. No, I think it has more to do with riding style, lack of urgency most of the time, and my lack of intense focus when that might be required.
I prefer to just wander around and drink in my surroundings, all the while allowing my thoughts to randomly jump from one topic to another… It’s really easy to miss a sign and/or turn now and then, and it’s not unheard of for me to wind up in a different state than the one I’d meant to be in… Not all bad, though, as some of my favorite adventures have resulted from wrong turns, missed turns, and U-turns…
I found the town where I was to begin the SC Route 34 leg of this journey, Dillon, SC… but I somehow missed the sign and didn’t make the turn. I rode on into the countryside traveling north west when I should have been riding due west. No problem, I thought to myself, I’ll just pick up a cross road heading south or southwest and get things right…
Yep, there it was up ahead… I hadn’t missed more than fifteen miles or so of that suggested route, but I had seen some nice roads anyway, so nothing lost, I didn’t think. It was getting late, so time to find a motel…
I stopped to top off and take a break just west of Darlington… and maybe get a heads-up on suitable lodging without having to back track… A really nice older gentleman was happy to oblige, but his suggestion would require me to leave SC 34 once again… Oh well, I just granted myself another route waiver and took off. No nit-picking bosses tracking me on GPS so no excuses or explanations necessary…
A nice room with a very comfortable bed! I checked in, unloaded ALI, set the room heater on ‘equatorial’ then went in search of dinner. Nothing eventful at all occurred on this chow run beyond an adequate meal… and an even chillier rider.
Oh well, the room was nice and toasty by the time I hunkered down for the night, so all ended well. Actually, this had been a really good day out and about! Fabulous ride through rural Americana, decent roads and… a most fortunate discovery of a Bojangles previously unknown to me.
The following day I continued on SC 34… for the most part. Yep, I managed to miss a couple of more turns somehow, but that all worked out OK, too. It’s kind of fun to watch the expressions and reactions of folks as they attempt to give correcting directions to someone like this frequently confused soul…
Naturally I can figure things out eventually myself if need be, and I’ve certainly done that plenty of times. On the other hand, I find it pleasant to chat with folks in these situations, and I always receive good advice, thoughtful and sincere efforts to help, and a renewed confidence in my fellow occupants of our land…
SC 34 ends in Greenwood, SC, and there I was to pick up SC 72 to continue on to Georgia. Of course I missed that intersection and had to make yet another correction. Oh well, that is just part of the ride for me, and I hardly think about it anymore… Has this possibly become part of the luster of traveling for me?
SC 72 becomes GA 72 at the state line, and that route took us on to Athens, GA, where we picked up yet another road… This time I was in very familiar territory, though, so no missed turns occurred. US 129 south is one of the routes I’d taken many, many times to and from Florida back in the day, so no surprises or boo-boos this time.
South of Athens in Madison, GA, I decided to call it a day, so I got another room. This is where I was when I wrote that ‘Update’ on my progress… and of my socks conundrum. A Cracker Barrel was right next door to this particular motel, so no hesitation about the decision on where dinner would be.
The following morning, I delayed my departure to see what the thermometer might suggest as to apparel ensemble composition. It looked like everything I had with me would be a good idea, at least for a start! I even wore my thick wool socks, and later felt mighty good about that call! The forecast also called for it to warm up later in the day… yeah, right…
I only had to correct my ride direction twice around Macon to find myself on US 80 West headed towards home. Now, Macon is a rather large place, and it has plenty of traffic, especially at certain times… like this time. Not a problem, though, as I decided to exit the Interstate I was using as a bypass, and ride through a part of the town I’d ridden through before.
I had a vague recollection of a pretty darned good BBQ place along that route, so I set out to see if I could find it… I did… It was closed. Dang! So, I rode on figuring I’d find another Q place somewhere down the road… I didn’t. Well, not one that was open anyway. Healthy eating has gripped our citizenry, it seems, and good ol’ pig parts and fried foods are becoming harder to find… lamentable indeed, as far as I’m concerned!
Beyond Macon, the road returned to two lanes, and the ride became very rural once again… Ah, I was back where I really like to be! A really great day was shaping up, and I was mighty glad to be out there doing what I do… what I do love so very much! The only way this could have been improved would have been to have come upon a good BBQ place… but that was not to be. Oh well, even a fantastic ride usually isn’t perfect…
There was one more little thing that complicated things a wee bit… While my pooperosity level had not been anything like it had been the morning before, it was still in the ‘elevated’ range… I was hoping to make it all the way home before anything critical developed, but… you never know about these things.
Tuskegee would be the next town of any size we’d be passing through… having already successfully navigated around Columbus, GA and Phoenix City, AL. The ‘reading’ was still well within the ‘containment’ stage, mercifully, so only a very brief stop to stretch my legs and take a break. Back on the road for the last forty miles or so, and then home sweet home…
I didn’t exactly take wimp or anything, but a convenient opportunity to jump on the Interstate for about five miles thereby shortening the travel time to my house presented itself, and I figured this would be good insurance against any problems from the now slowly rising pooperosity readings I was receiving…
I couldn’t believe it! I hadn’t been on this five-mile stretch more than two miles before I spotted a traffic ‘fur ball’ up ahead! An accident had stopped things and backed everything up, as traffic had to be funneled down to one lane… Now this could present a really embarrassing situation, no doubt! I suppressed the feelings of panic trying to set in…
Once again, good fortune smiled favorably upon me… Slow going for a while, but we did finally creep by the mangled car and van and the line of vehicles with flashing lights, then we could return to speed… and the final dash to the privy. I made it once again…
If Napper is right about clean living and pure thoughts, then I must have a lot of debt built up! Perhaps there will be a long period of penance I’ll have ahead to make all of this right and balance the scales… If so, then it appears I’m going to be around for a long time to come.
DDT
NOTE: No under garments or other apparel items were ruined during the making of this adventure.
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