Costco doctor

[Patrick]

>>> COSTCO DOCTOR
>>>
>>>
>>> One day, in line at the  company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow
>>> hurts like hell. I guess I'd  better see a doctor."
>>>
>>>
>>> "Listen, you don't have  to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
>>> "There's a diagnostic computer down  at Costco. Just give it a urine
>>> sample and
>>> the computer will tell you what's  wrong and what to do about it. It
>>> takes ten
>>> seconds and costs $10.00. A lot  cheaper than a doctor."
>>>
>>>
>>> So, Joe deposits a urine  sample in a small jar and takes it to
>>> Costco. He
>>> deposits $10.00 and the  computer lights up and asks for the urine
>>> sample.
>>> He pours the sample into the  slot and waits.
>>>
>>>
>>> Ten seconds later, the  computer ejects a printout: You have tennis
>>> elbow.
>>> Soak  your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
>>> improve in
>>> two weeks.  Thank you for shopping at Costco.
>>>
>>>
>>> That evening, while thinking  how amazing this new technology was, Joe
>>> began wondering if the computer could  be fooled. So, he mixed some
>>> tap water, a
>>> stool  sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
>>> daughter, and a
>>> sperm  sample from himself for good measure. He hurries back to Costco,
>>> eager to check the results. He deposits $10.00, pours in his
>>> concoction, and
>>> awaits the results.
>>>
>>>
>>> The computer prints the  following:
>>> 1. Your tap water is too hard.  Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
>>> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe  him with anti-fungal shampoo.
>>> (Aisle 7)
>>> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine  habit. Get her into rehab.
>>> 4. Your wife is pregnant with  twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
>>> 5. If you don't stop playing  with yourself, your elbow will never get
>>> better.
>>>
>>>
>>> Thank you for shopping at  Costco!