Do you have the guts or balls ???

[TJ]

 
Distinction between Guts and Balls
To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - is arriving home late, after at night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, "You're next, Chubby."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.
Both result in death
    

[Flrider]

 

Ok, we need a guinea pig to go test this theory, just to see if it is true

Any volunteers??? 

[_Sheffjs_]

 It's official, I have no guts and no balls.   

[_Sheffjs_]

It's official, I have no guts and no balls.   

this is the other half of Sheffjs, Sherry.....and I approve this message!   

[DD]

don't matter how long your married either, we know how to use the broom & fly away afterwards without missing a beat.   
love a happy ending. 

[John Schmidt]

It's official, I have no guts and no balls.   

this is the other half of Sheffjs, Sherry.....and I approve this message!   

Some things just go without saying. 

Keep in mind, the woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is simply the start of another argument. 

[Sbond22]

Just say " Are you going to believe what you see or what I tell you ?" You might be surprised at the outcome. DAMHIK. YMMV.

[_Sheffjs_]

Just say " Are you going to believe what you see or what I tell you ?" You might be surprised at the outcome. DAMHIK. YMMV.

Sounds like you did something bad.

[Moofner]

I have neither guts or balls. I've got backbone. When asked by my wife why I'm spending so much time working on my Valk, I replied, "The Valk don't bitch as much as you do and the more money I spend on it, the prettier it gets!"
I'd like to think my face took that frying pan like a champion.

[OLDFRT]

If your wife tells you that she needs a new broom, it is probably best if you do not ask her:

"Why? Did you lose the last one in a crash landing?

[Pappy!]

I have neither guts or balls. I've got backbone. When asked by my wife why I'm spending so much time working on my Valk, I replied, "The Valk don't bitch as much as you do and the more money I spend on it, the prettier it gets!"
I'd like to think my face took that frying pan like a champion.

Except for the fact that your right cheek now has the word "Lodge" written permanently and backwards on it.........

[Tropic traveler]

AAAHHH..... No.

[_Sheffjs_]

I have neither guts or balls. I've got backbone. When asked by my wife why I'm spending so much time working on my Valk, I replied, "The Valk don't bitch as much as you do and the more money I spend on it, the prettier it gets!"
I'd like to think my face took that frying pan like a champion.

Except for the fact that your right cheek now has the word "Lodge" written permanently and backwards on it.........

OK now I have to tell a true story. Sherry and I had gone to the outlet mall in Ellenton and she drug me into one of the stores that sells kitchen utensils and bits and bobs. So she buys this quite large quite heavy cast iron skillet pan.  I asked her what she needs with something that big and she replied within earshot of a lot of women that it would be something she could use to crown me with if I get out a line.  As I said there are quite a lot of people that heard her say that and they were probably chuckling.  As we turn to walk out of the store she takes the bag with the frying pan swings it out in front of her to switch from her left hand to carry it with her right hand. After it was in her right hand and she swung back it clocked me in the kneecap and sent me crumpling down and man did I see stars!!!  I don't rememberer the people's reactions but it was either hysterical or freaked.   

[Moofner]

I have neither guts or balls. I've got backbone. When asked by my wife why I'm spending so much time working on my Valk, I replied, "The Valk don't bitch as much as you do and the more money I spend on it, the prettier it gets!"
I'd like to think my face took that frying pan like a champion.

Except for the fact that your right cheek now has the word "Lodge" written permanently and backwards on it.........

A champion, you are not! 

OK now I have to tell a true story. Sherry and I had gone to the outlet mall in Ellenton and she drug me into one of the stores that sells kitchen utensils and bits and bobs. So she buys this quite large quite heavy cast iron skillet pan.  I asked her what she needs with something that big and she replied within earshot of a lot of women that it would be something she could use to crown me with if I get out a line.  As I said there are quite a lot of people that heard her say that and they were probably chuckling.  As we turn to walk out of the store she takes the bag with the frying pan swings it out in front of her to switch from her left hand to carry it with her right hand. After it was in her right hand and she swung back it clocked me in the kneecap and sent me crumpling down and man did I see stars!!!  I don't rememberer the people's reactions but it was either hysterical or freaked.