Stopped by the police

[Patrick]

 
Ron Chestna, 89 years of age, was stopped by the police around 2 a.m.
and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and
the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."

The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"

Ron replied, "That would be my wife".

[old2soon]

3 married guys are talking about drinkin and stayin out late. 1st one says-I park a block away take off my shoes miss the noisy stair creep into bed and she wakes up and demands to know where I have been and I get virtually no sleep. 2nd guy has just about the same results when he gets in late. 3d guy looks at both of em and sez-yer doin it all wrong! I come slidin into the driveway sideways with the tires squealin slam the doors closed make a bunch of noise goin into the house stomp upstairs turnin lights on as I go hit the bathroom piss straight in the owl and flush it rip open the bedroom door and holler at the top of my lungs-anyone here wanna screw and she's ALWAYS sound asleep! RIDE SAFE.

[Bighead]

 

[John Schmidt]

Hey Dennis, that reminds me of something that happened with my first wife. Apologies to Patrick for the hijack. I was stationed at Pease AFB in Portsmouth, NH, living in Exeter a few miles away. One night for some reason I woke up at 2:00am and couldn't get back to sleep, thankfully it was the weekend and I didn't have duty. I was dog tired the next day and she asked why, so I told her of my sleepless night. She told me next time that happens to wake her up and with a twinkle in her eye said she was sure we could find something to do that would relax me. 

Fast forward about 15 yrs. and four kids later. One night I couldn't sleep and for some fool reason as I was laying there, I remembered that night of many years before. So, wake her up at 2:30am, whereupon she asked WTH are you doing waking me up at this hour. I reminded her of our conversation lo those many years ago, to which she replied....."you idiot, that was 15 yrs. ago, go back to sleep." I was laughing so hard it woke up all the girls who came into our room wondering what was wrong. I said "ask your mother." She was so mad she was speaking in spit, and for some reason I fell fast asleep....but she couldn't. We're on good terms these days and about once a year I ask if she can still sleep all night. She knows exactly what I'm referring to and my youngest daughter that lives nearby her, when she hears me ask she will just sit and shake her head.

We have a lot of history, were married 31 years so there are many good memories. Kinda funny to think next year would have been our 60th anniversary. The jewel I now have more than makes up for it. I told her that story and was warned "those days are long gone".....along with a good laugh.