Two versions of a couple favorite jokes. Enjoy!!

[John Schmidt]

Version 1:

Well the ark had landed, the water had receded and it was time for the animals to go forth and multiply.   After the animals left, Noah and his family went back into the ark to clean it up.

As Noah enter the ark he was met by all of the snakes.  They had not left the confines of the ark at all.

Seeing this, Noah ask them, "Why have you not left to go forth and multiple as God has commanded?".

In reply one of the larger snakes slithered closer to Noah and exclaimed, "but how can we....we are adders?"


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Version 2:

Noah was told that of all the animals on the ark, only the adders refused to obey God's command and go forth and multiply.

"Well," said Noah. "I'll have to ask the Lord what to do about that." And so he prayed to God and said, "These snakes won't go forth and multiply"

And God said, "Don't worry. Find some trees and saw them into logs and create a platform sitting upon four legs. Then put the snakes on the platform."

"But how will that help the snakes?" asked Noah.

"Easy," replied God, "Everyone knows even adders can multiply using a log table!"



Do I apologize now or what 'til later???

[x]

These jokes are EXTREMELY bad.  Even my wife, who has put up with my engineering, nerd, geek attitude toward life for 31 years, would demand that you be taken out and shot for these truly pathetic and funny jokes.

[John Schmidt]

These jokes are EXTREMELY bad.  Even my wife, who has put up with my engineering, nerd, geek attitude toward life for 31 years, would demand that you be taken out and shot for these truly pathetic and funny jokes.

I think the two wives came from the same mold. I got the jokes from one of my sons-in-law(owns a computer engineering business), and shared them with my wife while I'm still laughing about them. She just walked away shaking her head, muttering something about "you guys have a weird, sick sense of humor." I get along great with all my sons-in-law....kinda like five of a kind.

[x]

wow an engineer for 31 years? do you still have your first pocket protector? and married too?

No... but I do have my first slide rule... and my first Texas Instruments calculator... a real clunker by today's standards... but a miracle in the day that it came out.  And married to a very fine woman.

And you, junior?  Any slide rules in your life?  Calculators?  Women?  Other than the blow up kind, I mean.

lets just hope that with your interlect that you wear a rubber

God must love stupid people... he made soooo many of them.  

[John Schmidt]

.....lets just hope that with your interlect that you wear a rubber

That last comment was uncalled for. As for the "techy" stuff, I used to have much of the same stuff and when I moved the last time I finally got rid of my old slide rule and that ever so important TI calculator along with some other stuff. Frankly, didn't even remember having them until I started packing and going through boxes that hadn't been opened in years. Think I still have my old engineer's scale somewhere....that triangle shaped thing that looks like a funky ruler. Another little gem I hadn't used in over 40 years.

[x]

yes as amatter of fact there is, but where your so bold to ask, have you ever had callouses on your hands from a full day of physical labor? or do you have womans hands?

And this is relevant to what, exactly? John posted a couple of groaner jokes and you are???????????  

[junior]

i must really appologize to john for marking his thread, but the rubber comment was aimmed at you strong eagle and also the womans hands comment also

[junior]

there that should set thing right