Life's rewards......

[John Schmidt]

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance! 

Eventually, you may have to learn to dance alone. 

[Bighead]

John this isnt a BAD news report I hope

[solo1]

John, I sincerely hope that it isn't bad news.

I have been dancing alone for 14 years and I still miss my partner.

Whatever caused you to post this, my prayers are for you.

Wayne, solo1

[old2soon]

I'm waitin on the other shoe to drop. 

[John Schmidt]

No shoe to drop just yet, thankful for that. But the comments posted do reflect how things are, for how long....I have no idea. Wherever I go, whatever I do....it's always alone and has been for the last 4-5 years. Maybe a couple times a month now my babe feels strong enough or the pain isn't quite so intense that she feels up to going out to eat. Or maybe a trip to the library or grocery shopping. She can no longer go to see a movie, so I don't go because I don't want to go alone. I don't go to most of the Fla. group's "ride to eat" (RTE) for the same reason, and because I can't enjoy myself knowing she's stuck at the house. She's now down to 90 lbs. fully dressed, I don't know how that's possible because there's nothing but flesh on bones. If you've ever seen pictures of concentration camp prisoners, you see her. The voice is so weak most of the time I can't hear her unless I'm standing next to her, and then can hardly understand her. It tears my heart out watching the daily struggle, but she won't give up. We take it a day at a time and are thankful for each one. 

Pardon the rambling, at times you just feel like you have to unload....somewhere, somehow. 

[NewValker]

Unload all ya want...thoughts and Prayers to you and your wife.
Craig

[larue]

John I know how hard it has been for you with what Rita is going through, no body has fought this fight better than you , you have demonstrated courage, patience, hope and a strong faith that many might not possess, you are a champ,I know she sees and knows everything you do for her and everything you gave up to be closer, but that's what life throws at you and in my opinion you have passed with flying colors, I don't know what else to say but know that if you need any support you have all the coordinates. And please do not apologize for the post, we are here for support of any kind and may God bless both of you

[Valkorado]

So sorry to hear of your struggles, John.  I think your next to last sentence is very wise.  

I watched my mother struggle with ALS, and saw my dad give his all being a husband, caretaker and in-home hospice nurse.  It was a 24/7 job and while he is the strongest man I've known it was probably a bigger task than he should have taken on.  Mom lost the ability to speak, walk and even swallow.  He was lying beside her when she took her last breath.  Like you, Dad wouldn't have had it any other way.  Prayers to you and your lady love.

[desertrefugee]

I don't know you as a man, John, other than the work and inspiration you provide in your motorcycle posts.  But, if you have this much passion in your hobby, I can only imagine what your dedication in real life is.

But, although we may not be acquainted, I am unfortunately able to identify with and empathize completely with what you're going through.   You are working through the most difficult sequence of events a human will ever experience.  But, it is also the most important thing you will ever do.  With surprising rewards along the way - if you try.

May the time you have left with her be filled with memories, a few laughs and a closeness than can only be felt by two who are "one".

[baldo]

John,

I'm sorry for your troubles. I didn't know you and your wife were going through this ordeal. My best wishes to you both.

Bob

[TallRider]

I feel for you my man. We don't  know each other but in the same boat. Wife & I are same age married at 20 54 years to date. Just diagnosed with alzimers early stages. Reverse  shoulder replaced in May still in severe pain. Has become very fragile and weak and difficulty  moving around and often requires help getting up. I feel very guilty going out for hrs on bike. I have currently reduced my riding to short hr or 2 rides for most part right now. Wish you well.

[BF]

I used to weight 275 a year and a half ago.  I weight 165 now.  Cancer is my bitch...I refuse to let it beat me ( although my Valk has).

John I totally understand as I see what you're going through in my wife.  She's the one I feel for.

[Hook#3287]

John, we've witnessed your travels for years.

Your unselfish devotion to Rita is amazing.

You're not alone when you come here.

[Karen]

John, you've already experienced more loss in your lifetime than many people will ever know.  You do what you do because of who you are. God is not done with you yet, and does not give us more than we can bear. Finality will come, please take comfort from your family and friends. We love you.

[old2soon]

John-just in case it slipped your mind you DO have FRIENDS here. Iffin ya can't unload on yer friends once in awhile-then Who ZACKLY would you unload on?? And B T W-as to my terminology-I do NOT feel as you are unloading on me. What are friends for? Never met Rita but she sounds like one tough Broad!   RIDE SAFE.

[Pappy!]

John I know how hard it has been for you with what Rita is going through, no body has fought this fight better than you , you have demonstrated courage, patience, hope and a strong faith that many might not possess, you are a champ,I know she sees and knows everything you do for her and everything you gave up to be closer, but that's what life throws at you and in my opinion you have passed with flying colors, I don't know what else to say but know that if you need any support you have all the coordinates. And please do not apologize for the post, we are here for support of any kind and may God bless both of you

I don't think it can be said much better than that, John, and I concur.

[Black Dog]

Unload all you need to John...  We may be dysfunctional, but we are family.

Stay strong.

Black Dog

[John Schmidt]

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. I'm currently at a bit of a low which was probably evident in my post. I'm facing hip replacement surgery in the near future which means I'll be unable to take care of of my wife for a time. Fortunately my daughter Toni will be coming down to help out for a time, but she also has a family to care for. The procedure that will be used allows for fast recuperation, but it still worries me....how will I care for Rita when Toni returns home? Will I be mobile enough to handle even light duty? There have been some ladies from church that have offered to help out, as has the pastor, so I may have to fall back on that at times. In the mean time, keep our little corner of paradise in your thoughts and prayers.   

[da prez]

  Friends walk in when every one else walks out.
             Bless you John. We have met and talked on several occasions . I hope to talk to you again soon , but the board will do in the meantime. Wishing the best for Rita and you.

                                    da prez

[solo1]

John, I too, know what you have been through, in our conversations, and are going through today. 
I was a caregiver for my wife for two years, not even close to your time though, and it wasn't something I desired but "In Sickness and in Health,"  means just what it says.

You have a big family here, John.  Don't ever hesitate to talk to us here.  As Karen said, you have had family health and death events far beyond what most people experience.

Prayers here for you, Rita, and your daughter.

Wayne, solo1

[Jersey mike]

John,

Take a deep breath and breathe normal. I wish I had some great life experience to relay to you to make your worries and pain go away but I don't. I can tell you're a dedicated and caring husband and that is what really matters.

Having read through the posts I can see you are not the only one who is struggling with health issues and it's there you can fall back on for moral support, advice and friendship.

Since i'm still pretty new to the VRCC community we have never met, but ever since I became a member I've read many posts in which you were a part of and I can tell you are someone who has the upmost respect from virtually everyone and I don't think there isn't a single person that wouldn't help in any way if they can, whether in person or just by talking and listening.

My wife is currently caring for her mother and father on a regular basis and it's tough on her but she is no where near the type of assistance you're providing for your wife, so I know it's taking a toll on you emotionally and physically...it can be draining, but despair is not the answer.

I've seen many people go through life creating relationships and building friendships but when the time comes to ask for help they seldom do and after all isn't that what friends should do, help when a friend is in need, if just for a small thing like having a cup of coffee and listening or grabbing a handful of groceries if necessary. Anything to lighten the load of a friend who needs just a little help.

I guess what I'm trying to say just reiterates everything everyone else has already said about venting here...don't have second thoughts about it. Get whatever you need off your chest, it doesn't help to keep it all bottled up and I can tell your friends here will help you through it.

One final thought. I know you have your hands full but you need to find a few minutes, a few times a day for yourself guilt free. Having a clear head helps the emotional heart do it's bidding.

God Bless

[John Schmidt]

Jersey Mike Quote: "One final thought. I know you have your hands full but you need to find a few minutes, a few times a day for yourself guilt free. Having a clear head helps the emotional heart do it's bidding."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
That's the main reason I picked up the old '84 GL1200 as a basket case, or in this case....a plastic tub case.    It gave me something to do with my hands and mind and keep me close by in the garage. I've completed a number of changes to it and included major overhauling of all the various parts front to rear. It's nearing completion so will sell it after riding it for a while to be certain it's free of problems. What's next, I have no idea but will be something to occupy my time and mind.