You can't make this stuff up! Attack of the Gangsta Turkeys!

[Doc Moose]

Attack of the Gangsta Turkeys!

Residents of Teaneck, New Jersey are living in fear due to a spate of strange incidents involving increasingly aggressive wild turkeys that are roaming their town.

One particularly unfortunate victim, Courtney Lopchinsky, saw her home invaded by one of the foul fowl when it crashed through her kitchen window during dinner.

"I grabbed the kids and we literally ran for our lives out of the house because we were so scared," she told CBS2 in New York.

Lopchinsky claims the ornery Thanksgiving icon caused a whopping $6,000 in damage during its unwanted visit.

The encounter is just one of many run-ins with the animals that have caused town officials to take notice as police have received multiple calls about the angry birds over the course of the last few months.

"They're like gangster turkeys," Lopchinsky said "They terrorize kids at bus stops and chase people to their cars."

Due to the protected nature of the birds, authorities are hard pressed to find a solution to the problem, but may have devised a plan to, at the very least, thwart future attacks.

Town administrators plan to distribute air horns to concerned residents who wish to protect themselves from the turkeys.

Additionally, state wildlife officials hope to ensnare some of the animals in order to redistribute them to a different area of the state.

Until these plans are enacted, however, denizens of Teaneck will likely be looking over their shoulder, lest they fall victim to the 'gangster' turkeys.

"There has to be a peaceful solution," Lopchinsky lamented, "They can't just keep ransacking the neighborhood."

Unfortunately, the turkeys of Teaneck may beg to differ with that observation.

Source: NYTimes / CBS2 New York

[baldo]

This is in the next town over from me....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MjgQiYyApo

[Gryphon]

You east coast people have odd problems.    If I was harassed by a turkey in my own yard, it would be in the freezer in about an hour.  Problem solved. 

[F6Dave]

There are several in my neighborhood here in Colorado.  They pass through my yard nearly every day.  They are pretty aggressive -- sometimes they chase vehicles like a dog.

[3fan4life]

If a wild turkey busted through my kitchen window, He'd find himself in the oven post haste!

[Hook#3287]

You east coast people have odd problems.    If I was harassed by a turkey in my own yard, it would be in the freezer in about an hour.  Problem solved. 

My understanding is they're not that good eating.  But, I agree, it'd be land fill at least.  Not sure it's just a east coast issue.  It's more like a vulnerable human issue.

From Wikipedia "Occasionally, if cornered, adult turkeys may try to fight off predators and large male toms can be especially aggressive in self-defense. When fighting off predators, turkeys may kick with their legs, using the spurs on their back of the legs as a weapon, bite with their beak and ram with their relatively large bodies and may be able to deter predators up to the size of mid-sized mammals. Hen turkeys have been seen to chase off at least two species of hawks in flight when their poults are threatened. Occasionally, turkeys may behave aggressively towards humans, especially in areas where natural habitats are scarce. They also have been seen to chase off humans as well. However, attacks can usually be deterred and minor injuries can be avoided by giving turkeys a respectful amount of space and keeping outdoor spaces clean and undisturbed."

Large males can go as much as 24lbs.

[John Schmidt]

They can be nasty at times but I have to agree with the quick freezer approach. As a kid, not yet a teenager, we had a neighbor that let his chickens run loose all over in a small town of about 500. My parents tried talking to him about it and both he and his wife refused to address the problem, said it was unnatural for them to be cooped up. He had a big old nasty rooster that would chase me even when on my bike, couldn't fly because at least they kept one of the wings clipped on all the birds. For you city folk,  that's done to prevent the hens from flying into trees to roost and laying eggs from there, causing a broken egg mess on the ground by mid morning.

I finally got tired of the harassment and told dad I was going to end it with the rooster, he gave the OK. I started carrying a bag and a bat, practiced making some passes at a softball laying on the ground. A couple days later it happened, Colonel Leghorn lit into me with fury unknown and I was ready. Sucker came at me from at least 50' away so I wasn't even in his "space." I stopped the bike and stood ready with the bat, hit a homerun on the first swing. Put him in the bag, went home and boiled up some water after chopping his head, plucked him, then my sweet mother called them up and invited them over for dinner. Most folk don't care for the rooster meat but if you're as talented in the kitchen as mom was, you'll savor every bite....as did our guests that evening. The man complimented mom on her meal and asked where she got the bird. She said "ask Johnny."  He looked at me, never said a word and he and his wife stormed out. Three days later, all his flock had been cooped up, much to the satisfaction of the locals.

Dad was the School Superintendent at the time, the chicken guy tried to make a big deal of the rooster killing during a School Board meeting but the entire town just sorta laughed it off....and laughed at him. It was dropped shortly thereafter. Just to piss him off, for the next few weeks every time I'd see him on the street I'd do a rooster crow as I rode past. My folks put a stop to that once it became known, small town news travels fast. I had an interesting childhood. 

[3fan4life]

My understanding is they're not that good eating.  

I have found them to be VERY tasty!

I've only ate hens though, a tom may be more "Gamey".

[Hook#3287]

Great story John

[old2soon]

Y'all want stuffin and cranberries wid dat?? How bout some sun tea ta wash it all down? RIDE SAFE.

[baldo]

Great story John

X 2   

We have chickens, 4 hens and a rooster. Had 14 hens at one time. The rooster makes his presence known around 3 am every day....It's not an issue in the winter, but it's very clear in the summer months. I've asked all adjoining neighbors if it was a problem, and every one said that, when they did hear him, they enjoyed it. I'm lucky to have such good neighbors.

Anyway, the rooster used to get a little pushy when my wife would go into the coop. A few good kicks straightened that out....

[Moonshot_1]

Clearly we need to increase the number of Thanksgivings per year until we can control these renegade Turkeys.

Of course then Obama pardons them. http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/23/politics/obama-pardons-turkeys-white-house/

[baldo]

Clearly we need to increase the number of Thanksgivings per year until we can control these renegade Turkeys.

Of course then Obama pardons them. http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/23/politics/obama-pardons-turkeys-white-house/

As have many before him..... https://www.whitehousehistory.org/pardoning-the-thanksgiving-turkey

[Alpha Dog]

Great story John

Got to agree with a big smile.  Great story John

[Moonshot_1]

Clearly we need to increase the number of Thanksgivings per year until we can control these renegade Turkeys.

Of course then Obama pardons them. http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/23/politics/obama-pardons-turkeys-white-house/

As have many before him..... https://www.whitehousehistory.org/pardoning-the-thanksgiving-turkey

cursed establishment politicians!!!! 

[cookiedough]

If I had turkeys that close,  we would never have to go to the grocery store, easy pickins. 

wild turkey though can be more gamey/wild tasting than farm raised, but still decent. 

I would have fun either with a .22 pistol or just a good old baseball bat. 

Wanna bet after the rest see his buddy beat to death they would eventually get the hint and leave for good?

[Rams]

Great story John

X 2   

We have chickens, 4 hens and a rooster. Had 14 hens at one time. The rooster makes his presence known around 3 am every day....It's not an issue in the winter, but it's very clear in the summer months. I've asked all adjoining neighbors if it was a problem, and every one said that, when they did hear him, they enjoyed it. I'm lucky to have such good neighbors.

Anyway, the rooster used to get a little pushy when my wife would go into the coop. A few good kicks straightened that out....

I agree to a large extent.   Although, I have to say that most fowl are not all that smart and be prepared to kick the living daylights out of that rooster again.   He will come back for more.   Don't ask me how I know this..............

This story speaks volumes about the human population in this area or just maybe as a whole.   I don't mean to knock them but, goodness sakes...................   Mother Nature has rules to live and die by.   While fowl aren't all that bright, they do know and understand threat and predator/prey relationships.    Obviously, they are not afraid of the human population and running from them has emboldened them.   The humans have allowed this to happen.       

I wonder if a "Stand Your Ground" defense would work when the tree huggers prosecute for kicking a turkey's butt...   

[Hook#3287]

Great story John

X 2   

We have chickens, 4 hens and a rooster. Had 14 hens at one time. The rooster makes his presence known around 3 am every day....It's not an issue in the winter, but it's very clear in the summer months. I've asked all adjoining neighbors if it was a problem, and every one said that, when they did hear him, they enjoyed it. I'm lucky to have such good neighbors.

Anyway, the rooster used to get a little pushy when my wife would go into the coop. A few good kicks straightened that out....

So, after that, she stopped going out the the coop?

[CajunRider]

I think the problem is that the turkeys no longer fear humans. 

Here in South Louisiana, a turkey will not go anywhere near a human... nor will a lot of other creatures.

This is mainly because us coon@$$es have a habit of eating anything that becomes a nuisance. 

The answer to their problem is easy... open season. 

[The emperor has no clothes]

Great story John

X 2   

We have chickens, 4 hens and a rooster. Had 14 hens at one time. The rooster makes his presence known around 3 am every day....It's not an issue in the winter, but it's very clear in the summer months. I've asked all adjoining neighbors if it was a problem, and every one said that, when they did hear him, they enjoyed it. I'm lucky to have such good neighbors.

Anyway, the rooster used to get a little pushy when my wife would go into the coop. A few good kicks straightened that out....

So, after that, she stopped going out the the coop?

[DirtyDan]

Tennis racquet

Dan

[baldo]

Great story John

X 2   

We have chickens, 4 hens and a rooster. Had 14 hens at one time. The rooster makes his presence known around 3 am every day....It's not an issue in the winter, but it's very clear in the summer months. I've asked all adjoining neighbors if it was a problem, and every one said that, when they did hear him, they enjoyed it. I'm lucky to have such good neighbors.

Anyway, the rooster used to get a little pushy when my wife would go into the coop. A few good kicks straightened that out....

So, after that, she stopped going out the the coop?

LOL....yup, the discipline will continue until morale improves....