He was watching the news... the wife comes in the room and asks; what's on TV?
The husband replies DUST!

=======================================================
Wife: Have you forgotten to get a gift for my mother?
Husband: I haven't forgotten but why? She haven't used the gift I gave her last year!
Wife: Are you serious? Who else would buy a firikin' coffin as a Christmas gift?!
Husband: Your father!

... and that, my friends is how the fight(s) started!
