It appears my hip surgery wasn't exciting enough for my wife. :(

[John Schmidt]

Last Friday morning she tripped and fell, hitting the bed frame on the way down and broke the upper arm bone below the ball where it goes into the shoulder. Xrays show it's more like a compression fracture with no displacement of the two parts so no surgery is planned, still extremely painful. They feel with immobilization it will heal on its own. I called 911, my thinking was they would wheel her directly in, therefore no delay with admission at the front desk. I was right, was faster than having me take her in and probably less trauma as well. The guys were great with her, handled her like it was their own mother. They kept her in ER Fri. night for observation, then admitted her to the orthopedic ward for a minimum of three days. That's what is needed before she could be transferred to a nursing home with rehab facilities. That was a hard pill to swallow.....a nursing home! That will take place Tuesday, 12/20, to a facility near our house that checked out quite good. Christmas appears to be rather drab this year in our home.

My hip replacement surgery went well, I'm almost as mobile as before but without the joint pain. But, I've been experiencing some pain in the knee and around the hip where the prosthesis was inserted. Checking with the dr. on the ortho ward, he got on my case about overdoing it with all the long distance walking up/down the long hallways in the hospital. Told me I'm doing great at 2 1/2 weeks out but the internal healing is still going on and to take it a bit slower. I'm not sure just what I'm supposed to do to back off under the circumstances, I already spent Saturday night at her bedside because she was afraid to be alone. She's too weak and frail to be sent home, too unsteady and really can't walk without help....now down to 86 lbs.  Plus, regardless of her problems, they didn't feel I was yet able to function fully due to the recent surgery. This is difficult to accept but I can't help but wonder if this nursing home will turn out to permanent. Except for some short trips on the bike by myself, we've never been apart in the 27 years we've been together. During my hospital stay in 2012, she was there every day and would cruise the halls with me; me walking and her in her transport chair....holding hands as we strolled. We knew that was coming to an end, but this....... 

[..]

 

[DDT (12)]

Amazing story... John, good things happen to good people, so hang in there. Both of you will get through this... together... and your epic story will have another chapter. I'm keeping a good thought for y'all... We all feel so helpless and wish we could reach out... Best regards!

DDT

[The emperor has no clothes]

I'm sorry to hear this John. We are all pulling for Rita to make a quick recovery.

[Hooter]

John, people at or around our ages have a stigma about nursing homes, and that is what it is anymore, a stigma. I've seen them do some amazing things with people there for rehab, much better than we can do at home. Sure it's scarry for everyone but she is in good hands. You take care of yourself so all the focus can be on her for now. Let the pros help, you just stay close, that's the best medicine! I'm pullin for both of you!

[solo1]

John, I have a faint idea of what you're going through.   My prayers go out for both of you.

I was taking care of my wife, she was getting better and finally got out of the house for the first time in awhile.  She tripped and fell outdoors and broke her pelvis in two places.  After three days they sent her home. She gradually went downhill, was placed in ICU, then went into hospice care.  I had to place her in a nursing home as she couldn't walk and she weighed over 300 pounds. I no longer could manage her.  She told me she wanted to go home. I couldn't explain it to her.  She had good treatment until she passed eight days later. 46 years years of good married life.

As I said, I know just a little about what you and your wife are going through.

Again, my prayers are there for both of you.

Wayne, solo1

[Rams]

I have no words of wisdom but know that you and your precious wife are in my thoughts and prayers.
Best wishes.

[John Schmidt]

John, I have a faint idea of what you're going through.   My prayers go out for both of you.

I was taking care of my wife, she was getting better and finally got out of the house for the first time in awhile.  She tripped and fell outdoors and broke her pelvis in two places.  After three days they sent her home. She gradually went downhill, was placed in ICU, then went into hospice care.  I had to place her in a nursing home as she couldn't walk and she weighed over 300 pounds. I no longer could manage her.  She told me she wanted to go home. I couldn't explain it to her.  She had good treatment until she passed eight days later. 46 years years of good married life.

As I said, I know just a little about what you and your wife are going through.

Again, my prayers are there for both of you.

Wayne, solo1

Wayne, I remember our chat that one evening on the balcony in Michigan. As you well know, it's not easy when it involves your life's partner. Comparing my feelings now to that of 29 yrs. ago when my first marriage of 31 yrs. ended due to infidelity of my wife, I was angry and got over it fairly easy. But this time, I'm nearly 30 yrs. older and this has more of a ring of finality to it due to age. I pray it isn't.

I'll keep the board posted on developments. 

[baldo]

John,

I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles. My best wishes to your wife, hope her healing is complete.

It's good that the rehab center meets your approval. Many aren't so good.

Best thoughts to the both of you...

Bob

[RainMaker]

My wife broke her arm in 3 pieces between the elbow and shoulder some years ago and the doctors decided it would be best to just let it heal back together with a brace on the arm, not a cast. Sounds similar to what your wife is going to do. It really does work and worst case she'll have a little curve to her arm which will make it easier for her to put you in a headlock.

Nursing homes are also rehab centers - so let's call this what it is - a rehab center to stabilize your wife's condition.

It's hard not to be scared and you are stronger together, so it's good to stay with her as much as you can.  Your strength will help her to get better faster and for her not to be as scared as she might be otherwise.

My family has both Rita and you in our prayers.  May God bless you both.

Mark aka RainMaker

[Karen]

I know where you're coming from, prepared for the worst. Better that and a pleasant surprise than thinking all is OK and get the devastating one. You and your family are in my prayers, John, loss is eventually inevitable, but maybe not this time. Rita may just surprise you with more of her seemingly inexhaustible ability to keep on going... Hugs...

[Daniel Meyer]

Our thoughts and prayers to you both!   

[Willow]

You're a good man, John.  It's hard to have the one that you've committed to care for separated from you.

You and Rita will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Valkorado]

Prayers sent.   

[Mr Whiskey]

God Bless Brother!
Prayin' for you & yours this holiday season!

[art]

Sorry to hear about your troubles an hoping for the best for you and your wife. My Mon passed over a year ago at 93. She took a few falls just ajear before and broke some bones in her arm and even though she was frail and only about 80 lbs. she healed. So hang in there and get better,both of you.

[John Schmidt]

Today she was transferred to a nursing facility near the house for rehab. This evening it was tough to leave her there alone, tears your heart out. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, we're hoping for a short stay. As it is now, she's not able to function alone....too weak, too frail. They already had her up and helped her walk to the bathroom. Very unsteady but still moving. 

[BF]

My thoughts and prayers to you and your wife John.   

I have an idea of what your wife is going through.  In 2014 after my kidney cancer surgery, I was in a coma for 3 weeks...and when I finally woke up, I was paralyzed...my legs didn't work and my arms barely worked.  I was in the hospital for a little over a month and when they were ready to release me, they sent me to one of those facilities in Panama City. 

I hated it.  Hate is not a strong enough word.  They worked with me...and those people were great, but it was the hospital/nursing home part that I really hated. 

I was in a wheel chair for about a week and a half before I could stand up and go to the bathroom by myself (barely)...but just as soon as I could barely get out of that chair and wiz by myself, I called my wife and told her to come and get me....NOW. 

She came and got me and I spent the next 3 months at home doing the things that they taught me myself until I could go back to work. 

I feel for you and I'm praying for both of you and hoping your wife has a speedy recovery.   

[henry 008]

sorry to hear this, John. Prayers for you both from Ohio.

[Karen]

Thoughts and prayers from Boston, John.

[cookiedough]

John, people at or around our ages have a stigma about nursing homes, and that is what it is anymore, a stigma. I've seen them do some amazing things with people there for rehab, much better than we can do at home. Sure it's scarry for everyone but she is in good hands. You take care of yourself so all the focus can be on her for now. Let the pros help, you just stay close, that's the best medicine! I'm pullin for both of you!

Key is finding a good nursing home for sure.  The one my dad had to go into after his pacemaker surgery (had other issues as well) was close by that his insurance would pay for vs. the other one some 100 miles away from home.  Heard a few horror stories from my uncle who had to go there stating crappy place did not do much for his rehab with his knee replacement needed.  Well, that was TRUE and I did not listen to him, but Dad picked that place for the closeness to home and everyone and the hospital just right down the street as well where he had his surgery.  They did NOT even have that day being admitted NEEDED the breathing treatment machine which was on the necessity list in stock was delivered 2 days later when he arrived. I was pissed and talked to the people in charge since he needed his breathing treatments daily as well as the hospital releasing him to that place not checking to make sure all that he needed for care was there.  I was pissed to say the least and let them all know it.   Rehab getting him walking again was almost non-existent as well but visiting him 7-8 times in that last month I could tell something was not right finally realizing his body was shutting down permanently.   He died taking his one last gasp of breath on oxygen machine 1 month later the day after Christmas Dec. 26th 8 years ago even though he lost consciousness unable to breath on his own the day of Christmas while I was standing beside him in the hospital talking to him with my mom.        Worst Christmas ever and when leaving that hospital that morning after Christmas after 24 hours of no sleeping was not good either since that night had well over 1 cm of thick ice coating the roads and attempting to chisel our vehicles windshields sitting outside in that crap barely able to even open the doors.

So, if something is NOT done right at that nursing home, SPEAK UP and if not corrected immediately,  get her into another nursing home.  Not saying it would have made a difference in my dad's case, but I still wonder that yet today..

Best of luck and well wishes to both of you.  take care!   

[gordonv]

Prayers John. Hope all comes through in the end.

Bad time of year for any of this, but make the best of a bad situation. Remember too, that this will pass.

[John Schmidt]

Cookiedough, between me and her daughter, we have managed to set things straight. Her daughter finally gave them an ultimatum....you have 24 hrs. to get your act together and the meds to her on time, rehab on time, etc., girl was like a mama bear. I was there twice today, soon as they found out I was there both times, we had various staff visit the room. By the time I left this evening, things were running pretty smooth. One incident wasn't tolerated.....over 12 minutes to respond to the nurse call button. I simply asked the head nurse...."if you have to pee, can you hold it for over ten minutes when bladder control is an issue with the pain meds in your system?"  Next time was less that three minutes, and the meds are coming right on schedule. Took them 24 hrs. to their act together but it seems to be working now. She's so frail and weak, she can't walk without help. Really hard to watch.

[old2soon]

John-have not been near my computer or I would have responded sooner but!  Prayers up and out for Rita my friend and you too. Figurin this time of year y'all ain't needin THAT much excitement in yer lives.  PRAYING for the best outcome for both of ya. RIDE SAFE.

[cookiedough]

Cookiedough, between me and her daughter, we have managed to set things straight. Her daughter finally gave them an ultimatum....you have 24 hrs. to get your act together and the meds to her on time, rehab on time, etc., girl was like a mama bear. I was there twice today, soon as they found out I was there both times, we had various staff visit the room. By the time I left this evening, things were running pretty smooth. One incident wasn't tolerated.....over 12 minutes to respond to the nurse call button. I simply asked the head nurse...."if you have to pee, can you hold it for over ten minutes when bladder control is an issue with the pain meds in your system?"  Next time was less that three minutes, and the meds are coming right on schedule. Took them 24 hrs. to their act together but it seems to be working now. She's so frail and weak, she can't walk without help. Really hard to watch.

good for you John for you and the daughter to keep an eye on things in the nursing home.  There are very good ones and not so good ones.  Key is to catch it ASAP and get it straightened out before anything bad can happen.

Being so skinny and weak,  might not be a bad idea to use a wheelchair more for moving her around for the time being until she gets strong enough again to walk on her own.  Best wishes!! 

I've been having to do that with my mom age 74 the past few times using a wheelchair vs. walking any longer distances say 50 yards or more.   More so I think altzheimers finally taking it's toll vs. overall internal body health issues.