I need a serious opinion (kinda long)

[BF]

It's taken me a couple hours to write this post.  I started to delete it several times....but I value you guys opinions and I seek them here.  

Well,here goes......

I'm not sure what's worse, the cancer or the cure.  

If you don't know, I have kidney cancer...renal cell carcinoma.  I'm stage IV.  There is no stage V.

I'm not afraid to die.  Kinda, sorta I already did once.  I almost died on the table at B'ham when they cut me open to take out my adrenal gland back in '14.  I almost bleed out.  I was in a coma for almost a month.  So death does not scare me.

The cancer doesn't hurt...it has no pain, but the freakin' chemo is seriously about to kill me.  

I'm constantly nauseous and  I feel like I've gotta puke at any minute.  This isn't just every once in a while, it's most all day every day, day and night.  

Here lately, the throwing up thing is getting worse....I have to hurl about once or twice every two or three days lately.  That wincing your gut out at the end is the worse part....and I've got to do it on a regular basis.  

I've lost 110 lbs.  With it went all of my muscle.  I've none anymore.  I'm weak.

And then....there's the pain.  

The first listed side effect of this stuff is pain....body, joint and muscle pain....usually described as having symptoms of severe rheumatoid arthritis.  And if you didn't know, having severe rheumatoid arthritis is like....

"It is not difficult to picture the typical severe rheumatoid arthritis patient:  He or she has hours upon hours of morning stiffness, significant joint destruction on x-ray, profound fatigue, difficulty getting out of bed in the morning, significant anemia, a high sedimentation rate, joint pain and swelling involving most of the joints"

The pain wakes me up at night...getting up in the morning is the really hard part...the pain is seriously on the verge of being unbearable.  Seriously F'in unbearable.  I don't know how to convey the extent of the pain.  The pain starts in my upper back and travels down both arms and then into my hands.  It takes most of the day for the pain to subside....some....a little...mostly.  

I'm exhausted, I'm weak....sometimes to the point of needing a cane to help me walk and stay upright.  That parts a bitch too.  

And then there's my back.  Seems I got up in the middle of the night one night about 6 months ago to go to the bathroom and apparently blacked out.  I fell over backwards on my back.  The next thing I know, my son is picking me up off of the floor and putting me in the bed.  Apparently, my wife thought I was dead, or next to it and seriously freaked out and called my oldest (and strongest) son.  He and his girlfriend drove over to help.  For about the next three days or so (I really don't remember), I don't remember much....slept through most of it.  According to the wife, she said that I was having hallucinations when I was awake and wasn't making any sense.  After a couple of days, it was at that point that I apparently agreed to go to the hospital...where they admitted me.  Turns out that I have a "burst fracture" that "most likely will never heal".  Nobody ever figured out why exactly I blacked out or what caused it.  Oh the joy.  

I still can't stand totally upright without severe pain.  

But back to the chemo....and here's where I need your input.....

I've had thoughts of stopping treatment (that's what they call it....like it's some sort of freakin' treat or something).  But then what?  I die?  That's a guarantee.  This chemo that I'm on is supposed to be some sort of wonder drug...they even have commercials for it on tv...you've seen it during the news shows.  It was just released a year ago Feb....they put me on it the 1st of March.  I've been on it almost a year now...but the longer I'm on it...the more the side effects, well...effect me.  This stuff is working....sorta/mostly....it has stopped almost all of my tumors (there are a lot of them now) from spreading/growing...but so far, it hasn't made any of them shrink...yet, with no promise of it doing anymore than it's done now.  Doc says this isn't a cure...not by a long shot...at all...it's just "meant to extend" my life...some...but the big question at this point is...how long....a year....or two?....8 to 10 years?  Who knows...there's no guarantee at all as this is all new with this drug and doesn't have much of a track record to go on.  I'm the first patient he's put on this drug...and have been on it the longest.  

What if I stop treatment?....do I get a year...or two?  Who knows...there's no guarantee....the end result is still the same.....I die...just sooner rather than later probably...but maybe with a lot less pain and throwing up.  

Do I stay on treatment and feel like crap the entire time for years on end, but maybe get a year...or two...8 to10 or more?  Who knows...there's no guarantee...the end result is still the same....I die.

I don't know what normal feels like anymore....whatever the hell normal is.  

I don't know how much more I can handle here....this crap really sucks the big one.  

Regardless whatever I do, I still have to sell the Valk before I go.  

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?  Please give it some serious thought.  Don't blow me off here....I'm serious as I can be.  

I just don't know how much more I can handle. 

[Wizzard]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

[BF]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

Even though they've passed it here in Florida, the Bible thumpers and the folks that've watched Reefer Madness one too many times are freaking out about it and are fighting it like hell here.  Don't know if I'll ever get to try it. 

[Rams]

BF,
I won't blow you off and I'll bet many read this and don't respond at all.

It's a very difficult topic you've brought to us.   I honestly don't have an answer for you.   I really think it's something you have to decide for yourself and for those who care about you.    Continuing treatment or stopping it effect more than just you.    I'm sure, you're not the only one feeling the pain.   We're all different in what we can handle.    I'm thinking you're one hell of a man simply for what you've already been through.    Yes, we're all going to die.   Most of us don't know when or how.    I'm sorry you are in this situation but honestly can't give any advice to you.    I'm not sure how I would handle this if it were me walking in your shoes.  

It wasn't long ago, I was being medevac'd to Lexington for emergency heart surgery.   The entire flight, I was praying, not for myself but praying that if God had decided it was time for me to leave, would he please look out for my family.    Wish I had better words or advice but, I'm not that deep.    Be good to yourself and those that love you.  

[f6gal]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

Even though they've passed it here in Florida, the Bible thumpers and the folks that've watched Reefer Madness one too many times are freaking out about it and are fighting it like hell here.  Don't know if I'll ever get to try it. 

Are you taking Marinol?  It's active ingredient is synthetic delta-9-THC.  Cannabis (marijuana) contains non-synthetic delta-9-THC.  Your doctors can prescribe Marinol, if they haven't.

[cookiedough]

talk it over with the family and drs. both and go from there.  

If the treatments are too unbearable and drs. say they will not get much better, if any,  ever,  that would be a tough choice for sure, at least for me.   Everyone has their breaking point and sounds like you have endured the pain and discomfort more than most could bare.  

My dad always said that we have no clue never understanding on how much pain and discomfort he had in his life the last 15+ years or so due to 3 spinal cord surgeries affecting his entire nervous system, etc.   being clumsy as well falling down and no feeling in hands or feet much at all forcing him to retire at only age 55.  

Do you have some good days still?   since being miserable and throwing up every single day, day after day,  due to the treatments would take its toll on anyone.  

best of luck and hang in there!  

[Firefighter]

BF, Really really sorry you are going through this. I wasn't going to reply because who am I to say anything? I can't understand or know what you should do, If you don't know nobody does.

I feel that if you don't know what to do then you should definitely stay the coarse, maybe things will change or something  different or better will come along. You are not alone in your illness, I will pray for you, I have seen so many people in your similar situation and they are still working towards getting better, you just never know. Maybe a better treatment for you is around the corner.

I suppose you have already talked with others, second opinions etc.? Must be difficult to think straight or to have the ambition to do that, right? I don't think it's time to stop trying. Your doctor knows how shitty you feel, right? Make sure he knows everything. Is there an internet forum you can talk to or discuss treatment compare your situations get ideals? If there is then do it!

I am proud you are sharing this with all of us, I hope you continue, I am here all the time (nearly). Will listen and help if I can, hopefully someone else here will be able to advise you better than me. Will be praying that you get relief for your suffering soon, keep talking to us. Firefighter

[BF]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

Even though they've passed it here in Florida, the Bible thumpers and the folks that've watched Reefer Madness one too many times are freaking out about it and are fighting it like hell here.  Don't know if I'll ever get to try it. 

Are you taking Marinol?  It's active ingredient is synthetic delta-9-THC.  Cannabis (marijuana) contains non-synthetic delta-9-THC.  Your doctors can prescribe Marinol, if they haven't.

Yep...been on it.  Didn't work. 

[DirtyDan]

Im heading to Colorado in the morning. Never mind the naysayers. Enjoy the time you got

Dan

[mark81]

I have spoken with some in similar situations to you.  It seems as though they were guilted into thinking they needed to do whatever they could to extend their life even one day no matter the cost financial physical emotional. they were lead  to believe if they didn't take the meds it was the same as putting a gun to their head.  it is your decision nobody can make it for you.  don't let others guilt you into doing something or not doing something.  with that being said I am of the quality over quantity thinking

[Kep]

It's great that you have friends here that you can share this with..like others ..I'm not sure we can answer this one for you...you just have to pray and follow what God prompts you to do,,,that's what will bring you peace..A few years back my Mom battled lung cancer and faced a similar dilemma as  yours. They wanted her to undergo a more extreme Chemo and she wanted my opinion...Of course I wanted her to live alittle longer but didn't want to see her suffer more..I had to resist being selfish and instead told her that "SHE" was the one to decide that..I prayed alot for her that she would decide what was right for her...and to this day ...I know she did...I was able to spend some great , quality time with her , clear up to her last days..When we come here to this world , it's not HOW MUCH time that we spend here , it's HOW we spend that time here.Live life the best you can , enjoy the good things , be kind to everyone , embrace your family and friends...and you enjoy  a better peace of mind.If you do need a real person to talk to, PM me and I will give you my phone number.

[SpidyJ]

I'll ask around about Medical Marijuana...my Sister in Law has stage IV breast Cancer with bone lesions and deals with constant pain.....she uses Cannabis, I will ask her where she gets it although I think her source may be illegal.
The only advice I can offer personally BF, is to ask your God to guide you, pray and meditate as much as you can. It is the only thing that calms me.

[98valk]

Best thing is prayer, faith and hope to our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.

 Jeremiah 17:14

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed;
    save me and I will be saved,
    for you are the one I praise.

God Bless u and for your healing. Search out churches in your area that have healing services.

secondly I could speak volumes about chemo and how it only works a very small % of the time.
u will need to find alternative medical doctors in your area usually listed as wellness centers such as http://www.wycoffwellness.com/treatments/high-dose-intravenous-vitamin-c-infusions.
doctors in the make money system will laugh at u and give some kind of excuse for they will only get BIG insurance money for using patient killing chemo.

U need intravenous Vitamin C therapy.  Many studies documented it works and better than chemo.
http://www.drwhitaker.com/iv-vitamin-c-kills-cancer-cells/
 Vitamin C interacts with iron and other metals to create hydrogen peroxide. In high concentrations, hydrogen peroxide damages the DNA and mitochondria of cancer cells, shuts down their energy supply, and kills them outright. Best of all—and unlike virtually all conventional chemotherapy drugs that destroy cancer cells—it is selectively toxic. No matter how high the concentration, vitamin C does not harm healthy cells.

Lab studies reveal that this therapy is effective against many types of cancer, including lung, brain, colon, breast, pancreatic, and ovarian. Animal studies show that when human cancers are grafted into animals, high-dose IV vitamin C decreases tumor size by 41 to 53 percent “in diverse cancer types known for both their aggressive growth and limited treatment options.” Additionally, numerous patient case reports have been written up in medical journals.

http://www.orthomolecular.org/library/ivccancerpt.shtml
Only markedly higher doses of vitamin C will selectively build up as peroxide in the cancer cells to the point of acting in a manner similar to chemotherapy. These tumor-toxic dosages can only be obtained by intravenous administration.

Over a span of 15 years of vitamin C research, Dr. Riordan's RECNAC (cancer spelled backwards) research team generated 20 published papers on vitamin C and cancer. RECNAC even inspired its second cancer research institute, known as RECNAC II, at the University of Puerto Rico. This group recently published an excellent paper in Integrative Cancer Therapies, titled "Orthomolecular Oncology Review: Ascorbic Acid and Cancer 25 Years Later." RECNAC data has shown that vitamin C is toxic to tumor cells without sacrificing the performance of chemotherapy.

Intravenous vitamin C also does more than just kill cancer cells. It boosts immunity. It can stimulate collagen formation to help the body wall off the tumor. It inhibits hyaluronidase, an enzyme that tumors use to metastasize and invade other organs throughout the body. It induces apoptosis to help program cancer cells into dying early. It corrects the almost universal scurvy in cancer patients. Cancer patients are tired, listless, bruise easily, and have a poor appetite. They don't sleep well and have a low threshold for pain. This adds up to a very classic picture of scurvy that generally goes unrecognized by their conventional physicians.

When Center cancer patients receive IVC, they report that their pain level goes down, and that they are better able to tolerate their chemotherapy. They bounce back quicker since the IVC reduces the toxicity of the chemotherapy and radiation without compromising their cancer cell killing effects. IVC is complementary to oncologic care. IVC is not "either/or" - it's a good "both/and" proposition. IVC can help cancer patients withstand the effects of their traditional therapies, heal faster, be more resilient to infection, develop a better appetite, and remain more active overall. These things promote a better response to their cancer therapy.

[The emperor has no clothes]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

Even though they've passed it here in Florida, the Bible thumpers and the folks that've watched Reefer Madness one too many times are freaking out about it and are fighting it like hell here.  Don't know if I'll ever get to try it. 

It doesn't have to be medical. Just get some and give it a shot. Yes, it's breaking the law. Yes, it's putting your employment in jeopardy. Talk to your son or someone you can trust about getting you some. Laws be cursed. They are not going to put you in jail even if you get caught. But don't get caught. I'm sure there are plenty of people you know and trust that can get you some. To hell what people might think about you for doing it. BF, as I'm sure you are well aware of not many come thru from where you are at. Give yourself the best odds you can get. If you are averse to smoking, they have all kinds of edibles nowadays . I hope the best for you my friend. 

[Chrisj CMA]

Bruce I am sad to respond, but I cant not.  You have a tough decision but I can only tell you what I think I would do.  I could only give this advise to someone who was sure with their relationship with Christ.  I hope that is you my friend!  If you are sure you are Gods, then your life is in his hands and he will confirm your decision.  I don't think I would have any problem stopping that awful "treatment"

If it helps with the stress of it (I hate it) I will buy your bike, whatever you need for it, you know it would have a great home.

Buddy, if you want to talk, Ill be there day or night to help you if I can.  I mean it! 865-5378

Jeff

[Smokinjoe-VRCCDS#0005]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

Even though they've passed it here in Florida, the Bible thumpers and the folks that've watched Reefer Madness one too many times are freaking out about it and are fighting it like hell here.  Don't know if I'll ever get to try it. 

It doesn't have to be medical. Just get some and give it a shot. Yes, it's breaking the law. Yes, it's putting your employment in jeopardy. Talk to your son or someone you can trust about getting you some. Laws be cursed. They are not going to put you in jail even if you get caught. But don't get caught. I'm sure there are plenty of people you know and trust that can get you some. To hell what people might think about you for doing it. BF, as I'm sure you are well aware of not many come thru from where you are at. Give yourself the best odds you can get. If you are averse to smoking, they have all kinds of edibles nowadays . I hope the best for you my friend. 

Agree ... Take to the street for some weed ... It could make life so much better .

[Art708]

 I agree on going to the street for some weed.  You will know right away if it helps or not.....and it isn't that difficult to get. I hope that you get some relief from your pain and discomfort.

[Robert]

My wife who is an RN says that you need medical Marijuana and that it would relieve a lot of the symptoms you are experiencing. She says it would help you immensely.
Other than that I sure offer my prayers for you. Not sure what i would do. Going to have to think about it for awhile.

Yes, marijuana was a help to my father in Law hemp oil healed any lesions quickly when nothing else would and it helped him almost immediate healing. It also did seem to take away some of the nausea also. At least so as to eat and keep some food down.

As much as you can stay away from morphine and do not listen to the naysayers about your condition. No one knows what time is left or what will happen so dont give up hope and dont stop the direction you feel is correct. My father in law lived many years after they said he would not go on.

I am sorry you are going through this I had wondered how you were since you mentioned you had this some time back. It was always good to see you post since with all the chemo and things you go through its really tough. You are a fighter and I have enjoyed your wit and posts by the way, so thanks for coming back.

Quality of life is the issue it boils down to  besides making sure your place in heaven is secured and you have made your peace with man and maker. I do know this, God can take away the illness, but He can also take away the pain or discomfort. He can give you a reason to go on and I would say that there is a reason since you didn't go earlier. Only He and you can work out those reasons and make the decision on what to do and what treatment. Find the reason to go on and since you are in pain and on chemo may not be thinking to clearly. He can make things clearer and define what is important and why. There is a reason your here, make the best of what is left. There is a real reason He is called the Shepard and if you ever read about sheep you will see just how much dependence we are supposed to have on Him.

[RDKLL]

Bruce,

I cannot imagine having to make the decision you have to make. I can only think what I would do...and I dont know. I think that for me it would be quality of life and when I see the old lady in the F#@k Cancer shirt checking off her bucket list of stuff, I think that would be me...but again I dont know what I would do. I would get counsel from my wife and go from there. Because of our age difference she will be putting me in the ground and the circumstances of that decision, if it is up to us and not some brain-dead texting driver, then I guess we will talk about it then...and I close this long winded non-answer answer...
Follow your heart after discussing with your family and with your god or whatever spiritual higher power you ascribe to and we will send positivity to you from the desert
Tony

[Skinhead]

I am really sorry that it has come to this point for you, and can't possibly imagine having to make the decisions you are faced with.  Although we've never met, I can only say I wish you the best and will support any decision you make.  That said these are my thoughts, but I have the luxury of not actually having to follow them:

Get on the Cannabis, forget that it may be illegal, that is only because big pharma won't be robbing you and the Gov hasn't figured a way to tax it yet.  My son has a close friend that is staying with him while being treated for stage 4 colon cancer,  He began his treatment when diagnosed with Cannabis only, and initially he was in remission.  Sadly it returned and he is continuing his canabis treatment with the blessing of his Drs. while undergoing treatment at the Cancer center in Newnan, Ga.  I could put you in touch with them if you'd like to talk to them about it.

I am also a believer in quality over quantity of life, but that as well is a decision only you can make and I hope I never have to make it.

PM me if you'd like to discuss contact info or sources.  Best of luck to you, it must have been very difficult for you to reach out like this, but I'm glad you did.  And know, we are here if you need us.

[Hook#3287]

Mr. BF Sir;

Although we've never met, I've followed your posts for more than a decade and have always had serious envy of your beautiful bike.

Can't give any better or new advice than you've received from, what appears to be, people you have met.

Do the cannabis.   Maybe take up Skinheads offer.  At least try it.

I believe I would take quality of life over quantity.

[Bighead]

This choice is solely between you and God. There is such a thing as Quality of life and don't know if I would go through what you are experiencing with the side effects. I hope whatever you choose your family will support whatever the decision.

[Serk]

Oh man, reading this tore me up, but I appreciate you felt a deep enough connection to us to share it with us.

I don't know what I would do, but I do recognize that there is a big difference between living and surviving.

It sounds like, right now, you're just surviving, not living.

(And I'll add my name to the "Find a dealer and get some weed to try." Really, at this point can it hurt? And if you DO get arrested for it, then BAM! you get to become the poster boy and cause celebre for why it should be legalized.)

[Gavin_Sons]

Get the pot   just try it, I know several that have used it and it changed their way of life during treatments.

[Smokinjoe-VRCCDS#0005]

Worth watching and utube  has so many more just type cancer and marijuana in the search box.....        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4lsvHMkWFg

[Valkorado]

Agree with the others.  Go see a bush doctor.  Take the bull by the horns on this one.

[dragonslayer]

Like Joe said ,watch you tube vids.MJ is the best route to stay somewhat normal.You will also feel like eating and that will help retain muscle mass.To hell with the thumpers,It's your life not theirs.Also in Austraila there is an experimental drug that kills cancer cells in days called ebc 46.It's been use on several people and worked wonders might be worth looking into.Hang in there the MJ oil also have some effect on cancer cells.Do some serious reading on it and go with it asap.We are all praying for your recovery.

[signart]

When I first read this it really hit me in my hard 'ol heart. I didn't want to reply and I'm one that never met you except I've kinda known you through this forum for some time. I left it for a couple hours and now I can't not respond somehow at least to let you know I have offered a prayer for you. Praying that you will have peace with your decision and peace as your fate unfolds. I also pray for relief of your pain no matter what medicine it takes if your willing to try it. I believe in God's word and I don't see any believers here condemning any form of medication to relieve your suffering. If life is worth living, I say go for the pot and see what happens. It might see you through the chemo till it does what it can to give you life without unbearable pain. We all just have so much time and we don't get to choose when it ends, but just make sure we are ready.

[Pete]

Best wishes, no matter what you decide.

Since you have invested serious time and effort and suffering into the treatment and it appears to have been effective to some extent, please consider continuing it.

In addition take whatever actions will ease your suffering and continue to look for and try new approaches to the treatment and to relieving your suffering.

With that said, when and if it just becomes to much to bear then do what you need to do. But do not do so without considering the effect on your loved ones.

And no matter what you do explain it to your loved ones and make them aware of decisions and why.
It is not easy on them either and any misunderstandings would make it worse for them.

No matter what you decide our prayers and best wishes are with you.

[Skinhead]

I forgot to add this link to my previous post.  Perhaps contacting this woman could get you into a trial if interested.  I don't know whether or not to put any faith in what she is investigating or not, but what I do put faith in is that big Pharma isn't interested in finding a cure, but they are all over treatment.  Again best wishes, I don't think you can make a wrong decision here, you have to decide what is best for you.

And don't worry about pleasing anyone but yourself.

https://youtu.be/ZOlKC4MbxgE

[Misfit]

I have nothing to add to what's already been said but I do wish you the best on this extremely tough decision. I will pray for you.

[98valk]

smoking it has shown to be problems for health esp the brain.

using parts of it separately has shown great benefits and cures.

one such example
http://naturalsociety.com/marijuana-oil-helps-3-year-old-son-beat-cancer-dad-says/

[The emperor has no clothes]

smoking it has shown to be problems for health esp the brain.

using parts of it separately has shown great benefits and cures.

one such example
http://naturalsociety.com/marijuana-oil-helps-3-year-old-son-beat-cancer-dad-says/

All the opinions about weed are highly anecdotal . Not much scientific study has really been done because of the politics of it. I'm of the opinion if smoking it helps with the nausea during the chemo. And it keeps a person from losing massive weight it's worth the slight possibility of burning a couple brain cells. It's BF's call as to what is right for him. I would just say don't let a misdemeanor fine or the scorn of some people be an impediment .

[98valk]

smoking it has shown to be problems for health esp the brain.

using parts of it separately has shown great benefits and cures.

one such example
http://naturalsociety.com/marijuana-oil-helps-3-year-old-son-beat-cancer-dad-says/

All the opinions about weed are highly anecdotal . Not much scientific study has really been done because of the politics of it. I'm of the opinion if smoking it helps with the nausea during the chemo. And it keeps a person from losing massive weight it's worth the slight possibility of burning a couple brain cells. It's BF's call as to what is right for him. I would just say don't let a misdemeanor fine or the scorn of some people be an impediment .

NOT MY OPINION. plenty of studies out there over the decades. u won't find them on cnn.
I posted about intravenous vit C shown to alleviate sickness due to the chemo and increases appetite.
only providing information for him to make an informed decision.

[Moonshot_1]

I can't imagine how difficult this is. Thoughts and prayers to you.

There are some thoughts to share. Please remember, these thoughts are from the cheap seats. I've never been in your shoes.

Your post mentions new chemo drugs. As to the decision to stop treatment or continue, to continue treatment may keep you going a little longer, but it also creates a record for future patients. What is learned from your experience with this drug can help your doctor and other doctors better evaluate the drug's abilities to help future patients. Even attempts at curbing the side effects could yield potential discoveries that will help others even after you are gone.
The question is how much can you take and want to take and that is a question only you can answer.
But it is a logical and a good reason to continue as long as you're able.

Not a fan of medical marijuana as a general rule but you would definitely qualify for an exception. Anyone with an "end of life" prognosis would be. The worse it could do is kill you. If you do look to get it off the streets, make sure you buy enough that if you get caught you will have free medical care for the rest of your life.
(I know that was kind of morbid but thought you might find it funny)
But seriously, I would think that this would be a good time to think out of the box as to treatments.
Not only to extend your life but ease it as well.

Maybe some holistic approaches to quell the side effects.

And document it all if you can. Notes, thoughts, experiences. There are those who will be diagnosed in the future who would benefit from your experience.

That's all I got.

wish you the best.

Keep everyone posted.   

[Dave Ritsema]

First and foremost I am so sorry to hear of your situation and I will include you in my prayers.

Quality over Quantity. 

I don't think anyone but you (and your family) can make that call because everyone is in their own unique situation.

Sucks, and I pray you can reach the decision that is best for you.

[Pappy!]

BF - Your Doctor HAS to be able to prescribe it to you after all you have been through. After all, it is now the law down here in Florida.
 
As far as how and when you make your choice I have a feeling you will "know" when the time to go is right and apparently you are not there yet. Indecision will no longer factor into your thought process.
 
My Uncle Dusty somehow knew, at 96, that his time had come although he would never say how or why he knew. 24 hours earlier he was his normal chipper self and none of us could tell any difference in him. He peacefully crossed over about three weeks later.

[scooperhsd]

BF -

There is no doubt you're a courageous man - to open up here and to have fought it for as long as you have.

My wife remarked that down deep, you think you know what is best for you, you're just looking for confirmation. Well - the responses above all indicate to me that we will support you in whatever decision you think is best. All I could possibly say is to echo talk with your family and doctors on what and why the decisions you make are.

Peace.

[Oss]

This is about as long as I have ever taken to post a reply

And I will be no help except to say that it is YOUR life to live as best as You can do it

I thought about Master Blaster  (think he is Psycho's brother) and his journey, my own daughter's journey and so many others who both conquered cancer and those who ended this life still doing battle and those who decided to just let the Lord call the shots

Whatever you decide my friend who I have never met in person I will pray for you and have been doing so for several years

May the Lord bless you and keep you, shine his countenance upon you and be gracious to you and grant you peace

Oss

[da prez]

Bruce, I never tell some one I know how you feel. It is B/S. Each person is different. If your doctor will not try something new, then it's time for a different Dr. My opinion is to do what is in your heart. Make YOU and your family happy. More than once I went toe to toe with my Dr's. You are in charge of your body , your life. I know what intense pain is , but my outcome had relief in sight.
  I am not a devout Cristian or a regular church goer. I will, in my own way , say a prayer for you if it will help. (I'll say it even if it won't help , who knows.)

                                                da prez