HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

[Valkorado]

HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......

Bubba,

Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the RV. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

[Alpha Dog]

I might all caps the ammo and beer.  Instead of 30 plus dollars a month you are out 5 bucks for goodwill boots.   It will work like a charm.

Now Valkorado.  What security system would you suggest for us Midwesterners'?

[Hooter]

I thought this would be a string, a chair and a double barrel  shotgun.

[John Schmidt]

I might all caps the ammo and beer.  Instead of 30 plus dollars a month you are out 5 bucks for goodwill boots.   It will work like a charm.

Now Valkorado.  What security system would you suggest for us Midwesterners'?

The oldest system since time began.....a small flock of geese. 

[Chrisj CMA]

My boss when I was on active duty bought an expensive system for his new house. I asked him if them window stickers came with it. Yep, a whole stack. He gave me one and I stuck on the window of the front door. I told him it was the only valuable part of his fancy system.

So he paid thousands and I got a free sticker that has worked just as good

[Jess from VA]

I might all caps the ammo and beer.  Instead of 30 plus dollars a month you are out 5 bucks for goodwill boots.   It will work like a charm.

Now Valkorado. What security system would you suggest for us Midwesterners'?

The oldest system since time began.....a small flock of geese.  

When TDY in Germany at Ramstein AFB, I saw the munitions dump behind double fence/concertina.  There were probably nukes in there; they were reluctant to say.  Between the fences were..... geese.  Noisy, honking, mean, irritable, fearless geese.  There's no sneaking up on them either.