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bassman
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« on: April 05, 2017, 04:33:21 PM » |
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These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood
Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted !
Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat ?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness !
(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes
off the show !)
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be ?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a woman ?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
he's married ?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older ?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough' ?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking ?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather ?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going
to get any during the first year ?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score ?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet ?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls ?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do ?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark ?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to ?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people ?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do ?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they ?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never
do in bed ?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE
GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING.
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