cursed CATS!!!

[Rams]

Been doing a little home renovation recently. Not necessarily my choice but not something I mind doing or, getting done as is applicable.

Have a wedding coming up in November so the Spousal Unit wants the place looking good with a few changes. First was painting. (BTW, I hate painting) but, I got that done without causing any damage. Since we moved into this home, the Spousal Unit has griped about there not being a walkway or door directly from the kitchen to the formal dining room. She took a trip out to Kansas City for the week so, in her absence, I decided to cut a wall up and make a walkway (minus door). The problem was, the cold air intake was located precisely in that area. Spoke to several different HVAC guys about what to do, most said I would need to move the HVAC unit located in the crawl space. Not feasible and not in the budget. So, I spoke with the gent who originally installed our system when the home was built. Told him that I wanted to move the cold air intake from 10 foot up on the wall and make it a floor intake vent. He said no problem so that's what I did. Now, I don't have a lot of experience with HVAC systems and was quite frankly surprised at the size of the intake. This thing is huge but, channels down to a smaller opening for the actual system in the crawl space. This is where the cursed cats come into the equation.

One of my Spousal Unit's cats decided to check out that new hole in the floor. Then couldn't figure out how to get back out of the hole it went through to begin with. Some how it wiggled it's way in there but, couldn't seem to wiggle it's way back out. I observed for twenty minutes and decided the cat must have been sipping some of my S. O. bourbon when I wasn't looking. So, I moved on to other tasks thinking eventually she would figure it out. That night, she was still in that intake vent meowing her butt off.

I waited patiently beside the vent (knowing I had to rectify this situation before my S. O. got home from KC or there would be a price to pay worse than clipping sunflowers and giving them to her) for about two hours. Several times during that wait I considered how bad her stinking body would smell if I shot her ass and left her there. Decided that wasn't the best alternative to take.. Eventually, she stuck her head out of the opening but couldn't seem to figure out that she needed to twist her body 90 degrees in order to free herself. So, I grabbed her by the head and started twisting. She was not impressed by this action needless to say.

But, I was able to free her and get the task completed. All was well when the Spousal Unit returned to her surprise (new) walkway. She was very happy with the results and the new floor vent works just fine. All was well with the world.

Upon her return, it was time to take on the next project. "We needed" a new master shower, the old one was showing it's age (I guess). Well, while I can do some drywall and rough carpentry, I am not a tile installer. So, we hired this task out to a "professional". He ripped out the old fiberglass stall and proceeded to put up the concrete backer board. His first attempt at soldering the shower copper lines was not very successful and sprayed water all over. So, that had to be cleaned up and dried up. Got all of the wet places as dry as possible and then put fans to work over the weekend to finish drying up the parts that were still wet or may have soaked up some of the moisture. This meant that our installer had to leave the lower part of the shower unfinished with a big hole in the wall. That hole led to the bottom of the tub basin. There's quite a bit of wasted space under a tub and, it's just enough for, you guessed it, another frigg'n cat of the Spousal Unit's to get in there.

The following day. The installer checked and everything was dry and proceeded to move forward installing the concrete backer board and then finished it off with the "special" sealer and what appeared to be fiberglass tape on the seams. Looked good to me, I just want to get this completed so I can get back to using my own shower.

The Spousal Unit returned home that evening and asked me where her "fat cat" was, said I didn't know. BTW, she has three cats. I went to work. About two hours into my shift, I get this panicked call, she hears the "fat cat" meowing from under the tub. She's beside herself with anxiety. Her Kitty is crying for help and she doesn't know what to do. Told her, I'd be home in a few hours and I'd take care of it then. Got home about 9:30, crawled into the crawl space, took down the underside insulation where the tub drain is located and there's a hole I remember being there. Tried to coax that frigg'n cat out in every way I can think of, STUPID FRIGG'N CATS!!! The hole is big enough but, that damn cat won't even try. It won't get close enough for me to grab hold so, I tell the S. O., let's just leave it open and maybe she'll come out on her own..................

That was some time after midnight. This morning, that damn cat is still under the tub.

Time to get serious, it's either shoot the damn can and risk damaging the tub or make the hole in the floor bigger. With the S. O. help, "we" decided to just enlarge the frigg'n hole so the cursed cat can get out. So, now I'm waiting and hoping that cat finds it's way out cause, I'm ready to kill the cat, I don't care how many lives it has, I've got plenty of ammunition!!!!!

cursed Cats!!

[Robert]

Usually some stinky fishy cat food placed just outside the opening does it

[Rams]

Usually some stinky fishy cat food placed just outside the opening does it

Tried that and put her water bowl where she could smell both but not reach them unless she came out.  She should be hungry and thirsty, she's been in there for at least 16 hours that we know of.  

Have things to do so, I'm not going to sit there and coax her.   She either comes out or dies.

Would there be any information in Tech about how long it takes for a dead cat to stop stinking?   I did a search but no luck.  

[Gavin_Sons]

Rat poison?    oh yeah, you don't want the stink. pvc pipe with a rope ran through it and tied into a noose on the other end. Lasso it and pull it out. Keep in mind, if you pull too hard you might pop it's head off, which could be a bonus.  I don't care for cats. i like other peoples but not my own.

[Alpha Dog]

Quite the story Rams.  Moral of the story.  No good deed(s) goes unpunished.

[Jess from VA]

Great story.   

Get a sign for the front door.............. Ron's Cat House. 

I recently discovered (the same time my water heater leaked out) a small hole through the basement foundation, that mice used to invade my kitchen.  I could have used a cat, but instead I used 20 traps of all types and varieties.  This would have been damn funny if it was someone else's house. 

I've seen plenty of cute little field mice.  The ones that come in your house are not cute.  They are now all deceased.  I got 60 pads of steel wool and expanding foam in the hole, and liquid nailed a steel plate over it.  Get through that you little bastards.  Five lbs of bait outside should also help.

Home ownership may be part of the great American Dream.  Taking care of one is no freeking dream. 

 

[The emperor has no clothes]

Got a fishing pole and some sardines ? (I'm not sure what line test you should use) 


Just kidding, for you cat lovers.

[John Schmidt]

Mice & cats, hate the first, dislike the second. On the farm when loading the corn or oat shocks on the wagon, field mice would run everywhere. We used to catch a couple and tie their tails together and toss them over a clothesline. I've never seen a couple women fight like those mice will.

Many years ago while working for the State of Fla. as an investigative auditor, one assignment took me and an associate to Houston to deal with an oil company. Big surprise(NOT)....they were screwing the State big time.  Our motel room left something to be desired but was adequate....at least for the first night. While watching TV we saw a mouse scoot along the wall and into a hole in the wall. The guy traveling with me, being a bit of a dufus on his best day, got down on his knees and stuck his finger in the hole.....and was immediately awarded with a bite. So I got down there and asked him to toss a pair of his socks over to me, which I stuffed in there for a temporary fix. The next morning he's looking all over for his socks and I told him where to look. He pulled his one sock on and all five toes stuck out the end. Seems the mouse liked toe jam 'cuz he had chewed the front 2" of his sock off. We moved out of that motel that same day.  

[da prez]

  A piece of fish and a treble hook. I do not like cats , do not want them in my home. The kids never took full responsibility for them. I reluctantly let one daughter move in with a perfect cat. When she moved out , I got to clean up the petrified land mines. To each their own. I do not want cats around my home. I will not harm them , I just do not like them.

                                              da prez

[hubcapsc]

My cat has had a cone on her head for almost two weeks. I wish
she was just stuck in a hole.

-Mike

[signart]

I love cats. I just can't eat a whole one by myself.

[The emperor has no clothes]

I love cats. I just can't eat a whole one by myself.

10 billion Filipinos can't be wrong. 

[da prez]

   Dinner menu , Moo Goo Gai Cat. Who knows , we have been to china.

                                                             da prez

[Moonshot_1]

Name cat "Jimmy Hoffa"
Fill hole with cement.
Problem solved.

No stink
No one knows where cat went. Must have ran away.
Put little "Giants" decal on shower floor.

[Rams]

Up date to the ongoing saga:

Cut a hole in the floor beneath the tub drain, one big enough for the cat to get out if, it wanted out.   Really don't like cutting holes in the sub-flooring but, trying to keep the peace.    I can fix it once that cursed cat comes out.

At work this evening, got a call from a very upset Significant Other.  Still no cat and now, I'm in trouble because I didn't cut the cursed hole large enough for the cat to get out.    

Called the tile guy who originally got all this started when he walled in the shower. Told him to get his ass over to my place and cut whatever sized hole the S. O. wants, I don't give a damn.    

This is what I get for marrying a anti-gun, social entitlement advocate, cat loving LIBERAL...........    I'm telling ya, that cat can't die soon enough.  

Edited: Nope, still haven't seen the damn cat.  

But, it better have nine lives, it's gonna need them............  

[old2soon]

When the Daughter(s) moved out I evicted the felines that enjoyed free reign until the Daughter(s) left. They-cats-show their displeasure in some rather "creative" ways. What the little sumbitches-cats-left out of that equation was Zackly-me-who was responsible for the feed bill.  And I picked up the feed dish and water bowl and it took them 3 or 4 days to realize the big dumb ass-me-was no longer interested in seeing after their needs. The cat's staff-big old dumb ass me-resigned. I also canceled the little sumbitche's credit cards.  Wasn't near as cruel as it sounds. After the Daughter(s) decided "they" no longer needed to take care of the litter box I relegated the felines outside. I now live in a pussy free zone. RIDE SAFE.

[hairyteeth]

I find that cats can't leave anything alone. They are really certain to get into anything you don't want them to, even if it's bad for themselves. We have barn cats to rid the farm of mice. The problem is several think they are pets. So my nephew calls me up to use the shop last January to change motor oil in his car. He knows the drill clean up after yourself and put the tools away. What he didn't pay attention to was the cats that got in the shop. The other thing he forgot was pouring the used oil from the spouted drain pan into the waste barrel. For some reason a cat had jumped into that open drain pan covered himself with oil and then proceeded to walk alll over a 50 X 60 shop. The worst move he made was climbing into a cab tractor to sleep on the seat while cleaning.
As far as the cat coming out thru the hole... the old saying you never see a dead cat stuck in a tree comes to mind. HT

[The emperor has no clothes]

I now live in a pussy free zone.

I'm not sure if I should feel pity or shake your hand. 

[Gavin_Sons]

I now live in a pussy free zone.

I'm not sure if I should feel pity or shake your hand. 

Depends on the time of day 

[The emperor has no clothes]

I now live in a pussy free zone.

I'm not sure if I should feel pity or shake your hand. 

Depends on the time of day 

Or month

[Gavin_Sons]

I now live in a pussy free zone.

I'm not sure if I should feel pity or shake your hand. 

Depends on the time of day 

Or month

[Farside]

  Oh my. Not laughing at you by any means. You've gone "above & beyond" in my opinion
To have 3 inside cats.... well your Liberal SO must be a real keeper. Reminds me of a movie I saw this past weekend. Check it out, pretty funny!   "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days!  
  As to cats, I grew up with inside/outside cats and liked most all of them, never more than 1 inside however except for a brief period when my 2nd wife came with 2.    6 months later they were gone  and 9 months later our boy/girl twins were born!   Need I say more?  

[hubcapsc]

To have 3 inside cats....

Four.



They ring the bell to summon us to serve them.



They have their own doors to use so they can go outside and find lizards and
snakes to bring inside to play with, so technically they're not inside cats.

-Mike

[Gavin_Sons]

To have 3 inside cats....

Four.



They ring the bell to summon us to serve them.



They have their own doors to use so they can go outside and find lizards and
snakes to bring inside to play with, so technically they're not inside cats.

-Mike

Thats funny Mike. We have a white cat named Belle. Our 3 year old calls it white cat. Ours are 19 and 20 years old. They can't make it much longer can they?

[JimmyG]

I used to be able to hit one at 400 yds. ???

[Gavin_Sons]

I used to be able to hit one at 400 yds. ???

22-250?

[Willow]

Rams -  It bothers me to see the base verb used as an adjective.  You need to use either the present or past participle, that is damning cats or cursed cats.

O2S -  It is scientifically impossible for a cat to be the son of a bitch.   

[Gavin_Sons]

Rams -  It bothers me to see the base verb used as an adjective.  You need to use either the present or past participle, that is damning cats or cursed cats.

O2S -  It is scientifically impossible for a cat to be the son of a bitch.   

Called out on technicalities.   

[old2soon]

Rams -  It bothers me to see the base verb used as an adjective.  You need to use either the present or past participle, that is damning cats or cursed cats.

O2S -  It is scientifically impossible for a cat to be the son of a bitch.   

Called out on technicalities.   

                 What he said!  RIDE SAFE.  P S-sides the term I used was sumbitches-Southern doncha know! 

[Rams]

Rams -  It bothers me to see the base verb used as an adjective.  You need to use either the present or past participle, that is damning cats or cursed cats.

Carl,
More than willing to be a team player and I surely don't wish to upset you, bother you or be technically incorrect.   So I've gone back and attempted to find all of the damn cat verbiage and changed it to cursed cat.   But, I do wonder (not being an expert on such things) would not the cat be cursed only after I cursed it which, IMHO would mean that the act of damning it would be to damn it thusly making it a cursed cat only after it has been cursed?   

I'm so confused.

Regardless, that cursed cat is out now, the Spousal Unit is happy again and I'm licking my wounds.
Thanks to all those who offered advice (well, those that offered advice on how to get that cursed cat out).   

[Willow]

Rams -  It bothers me to see the base verb used as an adjective.  You need to use either the present or past participle, that is damning cats or cursed cats.

Carl,
More than willing to be a team player and I surely don't wish to upset you, bother you or be technically incorrect.   So I've gone back and attempted to find all of the damn cat verbiage and changed it to cursed cat.   But, I do wonder (not being an expert on such things) would not the cat be cursed only after I cursed it which, IMHO would mean that the act of damning it would be to damn it thusly making it a cursed cat only after it has been cursed?   

I'm so confused.

Regardless, that cursed cat is out now, the Spousal Unit is happy again and I'm licking my wounds.
Thanks to all those who offered advice (well, those that offered advice on how to get that cursed cat out).   

I'm glad the feline is out and safe and that the spouse is pleased.  We do, so often, exist only to supply their needs, do we not?

It is a bit bewildering that the past participle is used to describe what seems to be a present situation.  It does make some sense, though, as we realize can only request or speculate on the damning.  Someone greater than you or I has the responsibility of actually applying the damnation.  In truth, where we tend to apply the modification doesn't make a lot of sense.  Take for instance the cat.  Cats, so far as we are informed, do not have any expectation of continued existence after physical death.  I'm fairly certain there will be no cats in hell.  Perhaps most often we should use the modifier accursed rather than cursed.

I enjoy the language, Rams.  I don't expect a lot of some but of a few I do.    

[Rams]

I enjoy the language, Rams.  I don't expect a lot of some but of a few I do.    

Carl,
I shall attempt to be up to the standard.   I've let my skills degrade since college and back when I wrote official documents for people more important than myself.

I appreciate the technical correction and will attempt to keep it right from this point forward.   But, that cat is still cursed in my opinion............ 

[The emperor has no clothes]

I'm fairly certain there will be no cats in hell. 

Interesting. I would think Heaven to be full of dogs, and Hell with cats.

[baldo]

This is what I get for marrying a anti-gun, social entitlement advocate, cat loving LIBERAL...........  

Sounds like a nice lady......

[Rams]

This is what I get for marrying a anti-gun, social entitlement advocate, cat loving LIBERAL...........  

Sounds like a nice lady......

Checking to make sure it's safe..................

No comment.   

[hubcapsc]

[baldo]

This is what I get for marrying a anti-gun, social entitlement advocate, cat loving LIBERAL...........  

Sounds like a nice lady......

Checking to make sure it's safe..................

No comment.   

Smart man......

[baldo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpQ_jzI9tOc

[Skinhead]

https://youtu.be/o0oAviNffIE

Even better.

[hubcapsc]