Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« on: June 19, 2017, 07:10:54 AM » |
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So I finally landed a job as a Wal-Mart greeter, which is a good find for many retirees, unfortunately I lasted less than a day.
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.
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RainMaker
Member
Posts: 6626
VRCC#24130 - VRCCDS#0117 - IBA#48473
Arlington, TX
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« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2017, 07:39:18 AM » |
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 2005 BMW R1200 GS 2000 Valkyrie Interstate 1998 Valkyrie Tourer 1981 GL1100I GoldWing 1972 CB500K1 |
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cookiedough
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« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2017, 07:41:30 AM » |
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If you left out the last 3 words, are they twins, you would have been fine and kept that job at wal mart. Sometimes speaking too many words gets you into MORE trouble that I know first hand.
NEVER assume something as well gets you in trouble as well.
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wiggydotcom
Member
Posts: 3387
Do Your Best and Miss the Rest!
Yorkville, Illinois
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« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2017, 07:46:47 AM » |
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If you left out the last 3 words, are they twins, you would have been fine and kept that job at wal mart. Sometimes speaking too many words gets you into MORE trouble that I know first hand.
NEVER assume something as well gets you in trouble as well.
Although the post was very funny, I don't really think it's a personal experience of Wizzard. Maybe just sharing a funny post from somewhere else(I've seen it before a couple times). |
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« Last Edit: June 19, 2017, 09:05:29 AM by wiggydotcom »
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VRCC #10177 VRCCDS #239  |
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Willow
Administrator
Member
Posts: 16769
Excessive comfort breeds weakness. PttP
Olathe, KS
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« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2017, 07:49:04 AM » |
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Uh ... It's a joke. I didn't think anyone would be capable of believing that actually happened.  |
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old2soon
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« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2017, 07:56:08 AM » |
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Uh ... It's a joke. I didn't think anyone would be capable of believing that actually happened. What-sleeping with her twice?  RIDE SAFE. |
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check. 1964 1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240 2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2017, 08:04:11 AM » |
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If you left out the last 3 words, are they twins, you would have been fine and kept that job at wal mart. Sometimes speaking too many words gets you into MORE trouble that I know first hand.
NEVER assume something as well gets you in trouble as well.
Although the post was very funny, I don't really think it's a personal experience of Wizard. Maybe just sharing a funny post from somewhere else(I've seen it before a couple times). Ya think?? lol I thought the title of the post kind of explained that?? |
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Gryphon Rider
Member
Posts: 5232
2000 Tourer
Calgary, Alberta
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« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2017, 08:04:42 AM » |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2017, 08:09:34 AM » |
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you guys kill me,, I guess no one reads thread titles anymore
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VRCC # 24157 |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2017, 08:24:35 AM » |
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Uh ... It's a joke. I didn't think anyone would be capable of believing that actually happened. His comment was even better than the joke.  |
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2017, 10:03:10 AM » |
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Funny.   Going to Walmart is often funny, if you look for it. Where else do you see people shopping in their pajamas? It's like going to the bargain human zoo. |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2017, 10:29:15 AM » |
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Funny. Going to Walmart is often funny, if you look for it. Where else do you see people shopping in their pajamas? It's like going to the bargain human zoo. Sadly, almost a daily thing in our grocery store. |
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wiggydotcom
Member
Posts: 3387
Do Your Best and Miss the Rest!
Yorkville, Illinois
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« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2017, 02:19:20 PM » |
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If you left out the last 3 words, are they twins, you would have been fine and kept that job at wal mart. Sometimes speaking too many words gets you into MORE trouble that I know first hand.
NEVER assume something as well gets you in trouble as well.
Although the post was very funny, I don't really think it's a personal experience of Wizard. Maybe just sharing a funny post from somewhere else(I've seen it before a couple times). Ya think?? lol I thought the title of the post kind of explained that?? No, I didn't "think". I knew. As I said, I've seen it before. And I certainly didn't "think" you were the orginator as I stated. It's quite old, actually. Evidently, it's new to you though as you're the poster. |
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VRCC #10177 VRCCDS #239 |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #13 on: June 19, 2017, 02:32:28 PM » |
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No it was not new to me,but I wish I had a dime for every joke I have seen here before that got recycled. I absolutely know it was not new. I have seen some jokes posted here that I heard when I was in grade school, but some here never heard before. That's what makes the world go round. |
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Oss
Member
Posts: 12764
The lower Hudson Valley
Ossining NY Chapter Rep VRCCDS0141
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« Reply #14 on: June 19, 2017, 02:44:02 PM » |
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WHAT ??? Next you will be telling me that the copy girl at the title company is not real This was her responding to my offer for skipping out for some ice cream when the a/c went out WHo remembers the original thread??  |
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If you don't know where your going any road will take you there
George Harrison
When you come to the fork in the road, take it
Yogi Berra (Don't send it to me C.O.D.)
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Farside
Member
Posts: 2592
Let's get going!
S. GA - N. FL
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« Reply #15 on: June 19, 2017, 02:53:02 PM » |
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About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”
So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”
My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.
Too funny, Good for you You obviously have too much class for that Walmart!  |
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Farside
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wiggydotcom
Member
Posts: 3387
Do Your Best and Miss the Rest!
Yorkville, Illinois
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« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2017, 03:24:26 PM » |
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No it was not new to me,but I wish I had a dime for every joke I have seen here before that got recycled. I absolutely know it was not new. I have seen some jokes posted here that I heard when I was in grade school, but some here never heard before. That's what makes the world go round. No problem, Wizzard. You're right in the above statement. What I was trying to do is let Cookiedough know, in a subtle way, that it was a humor post. I knew your intention all along. It's all good. |
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VRCC #10177 VRCCDS #239 |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2017, 03:40:16 PM » |
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So, Elizabeth Taylor is about to get married to her 9th husband. But she is concerned about her private parts at her age. She goes to the doctor and explains the situation and the Doc says no problem, I can perform a labiaotomy. She agrees but wants this kept quiet and out of the press. The Doc understands and agrees. After the surgery she comes out of the anasthesia in the hospital room and there are 3 bouquets of roses next to her bed. She is furious and summons the doctor. She is yelling at him and asking how he could betray her trust. The Doc tells her his silence was not broken. He explains he got her flowers because it was an honor working on her and he felt bad that she had to go thru this alone. He explains the other bouquet is from his nurse that assisted him, she is a big fan of hers. Liz calms down and thanks the Doc and then asks where the 3rd bouquet is from. The Doc says "Oh that's from the man in the Burn Unit, he wanted to thank you for the new ears". (No, I'm not a Doc or a burn victim)  |
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« Last Edit: June 19, 2017, 04:27:13 PM by meathead »
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wiggydotcom
Member
Posts: 3387
Do Your Best and Miss the Rest!
Yorkville, Illinois
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« Reply #18 on: June 19, 2017, 03:48:45 PM » |
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Good one, Rob. It kinda reminds me of the baby that was born without eyelids....
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VRCC #10177 VRCCDS #239 |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2017, 04:26:10 PM » |
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Good one, Rob. It kinda reminds me of the baby that was born without eyelids....
I don't remember that one. |
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cookiedough
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« Reply #20 on: June 19, 2017, 05:26:53 PM » |
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No it was not new to me,but I wish I had a dime for every joke I have seen here before that got recycled. I absolutely know it was not new. I have seen some jokes posted here that I heard when I was in grade school, but some here never heard before. That's what makes the world go round. No problem, Wizzard. You're right in the above statement. What I was trying to do is let Cookiedough know, in a subtle way, that it was a humor post. I knew your intention all along. It's all good. I knew it was a joke, just stating if left out the twins part, all would have been fine probably from the ugly mom at walmart. |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #21 on: June 20, 2017, 06:05:44 AM » |
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Good one, Rob. It kinda reminds me of the baby that was born without eyelids....
I don't remember that one. Is that the one where they used his foreskin,and everything was almost normal except he was a little cockeyed? |
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VRCC # 24157 |
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Robert
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« Reply #22 on: June 20, 2017, 01:47:09 PM » |
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Willow I differ with you on this, with what we see in the world today, its definitely possible |
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“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
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wiggydotcom
Member
Posts: 3387
Do Your Best and Miss the Rest!
Yorkville, Illinois
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« Reply #23 on: June 20, 2017, 08:28:47 PM » |
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Good one, Rob. It kinda reminds me of the baby that was born without eyelids....
I don't remember that one. Is that the one where they used his foreskin,and everything was almost normal except he was a little cockeyed? That's the one, Wizzard! |
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VRCC #10177 VRCCDS #239 |
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Jess Tolbirt
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« Reply #24 on: June 21, 2017, 05:26:33 AM » |
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no one did sleep with her twice, different daddys
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