I found this timely, got it in an email. :)

[John Schmidt]

Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?" I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.  Not me, think about it.

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and calling it 'Pumping Rust.'

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, you have a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An ambulance.'

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. (Amen)

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. (yup!, I would get that signal when mom would say/yell "John D" with the "D" being louder and about an octave higher in pitch)

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The ' and ' IRS ' together it spells 'Theirs.'

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.  I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. (another Amen)

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. Ah, yes! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable. (most of the time)

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare(?), And Friends who Care. (well....2 out of 3 ain't bad)
                                                                     +++++++++++++++++++

Now I know more than a few of you can relate, I just won't name names or point fingers 'cuz I still espouse to the very last statement. 

[Jess from VA]

 

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

[old2soon]

Who to call in an emergency? My personal choice would be 911.  BUT dat might just be me.  RIDE SAFE.

[Pete]

 

[Hooter]

Good stuff John!... in my case and since i retired, the golden years are more like the lead years.

[RP#62]

Heard one the other day where the neighbor asked can you tell I have a cat and the guy next door said, no, but I can tell you have a box of turds.

-RP

[solo1]

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Quote.

I'm really guilty of that.  Can't explain it.

Old age, in my case, is happiness when you can pee and pee yellow.  No further comment.

Good Un's, John!

[FryeVRCCDS0067]

While I was replacing a motor on an air-handler today another employee comes up and says "still working on that"? I of course said "no, I'm repairing a lathe at the other end of the plant".

[da prez]

  I am very regular at my age.
                        I have a nice pee at 6:00
                             I have a nice poop at 7:00
                                 But I do not get out of bed until 8:00

                                                   guess who