One of THE funniest things I've seen

[old2soon]

Drove around this fair Country of Ours for a goodly number of years in the high seat of an 18 wheeler and as you might imagine when a cage goes by me I have a fairly unrestricted view into a vehicle. Seen sex acts done in a cage seen some "stuff" that no one should see and some things that made me laugh right out loud. Also seen a fait amount of Children NOT buckled in But that are another story. As the title on the subject line sez-FUNNIEST. Sometime in the 90s my big truck is right near gross-max legal without permit 80000 pounds on 5 axles and I was close. Getting near Chattanooga on I-75 South with Atlanta on my mind. There is a good uphill there just before Chattanooga that guts a good truck with a load and I was in the left lane and my truck got gutted. Finally made it back into the right lane and I saw the car approaching in my left mirror. Old gal in the passenger seat-think granny from The Beverly Hillbillies-Snow White hair pulled into a very tight bun plain black dress that covered most of her neck a Cameo at her neck wire framed round glasses and when she was Sure I was paying attention and looking at her she extends the middle finger of her right hand-Very bony finger-and also mouths-F U! Took me a minute but I almost laughed myself outa my seat!   Soooooooo what's made you laugh out on the road? RIDE SAFE.

[John Schmidt]

Our first InZane in Padukah, KY.....it was hot. If you thought about going outside, you started to sweat just thinking about it. At one point I had to make a run to the store for some stuff I'd forgot to pack. On the way back I'm tooling along and a couple older ladies(my age) came up along side and checked out the bike. The one riding shotgun looked at me, rolled down the window and yelled "aren't you hot?" I reached down and lifted my shirt up to show her the wind was blowing it out so I was getting some air on my belly. She busted out laughing, said something to the other gal, then copied my act by lifting her blouse up in the same manner. I was surprised to see she wasn't wearing any more than I was, gave her a good wolf whistle, blew her a kiss and sped off. As I turned onto the street where the hotel was, they went flying past while giving me a good loud honk. 

Another time I was coming back from Miami following a rather lengthy audit and was anxious to get home. This was during my single years after my ex and before meeting Rita, I guess the State figured since I didn't have any ties at home I was able to travel more. I'm on the Fla. Pike and running about ten over when I see this car coming up in the distance behind me. They were hanging in the left lane so just for kicks I stepped it up a bit, now running close to 90. The car is still gaining on me but I stayed at the same speed, curious more than anything. Suddenly it flashed past me, a near new Jaguar with two cue tips in the front seat talking up a storm. The driver had one hand on the wheel, gesturing with the other and both appeared to be howling with laughter as they went past. I sped up in an attempt to clock them but quit at 100, she kept running away from me. There they were, two grannies in a Jag, ripping down the pike at well over 100, having the time of their life from all appearances. I guess they looked at the speed limit as merely a suggestion. 

[Jess Tolbirt]

Drove around this fair Country of Ours for a goodly number of years in the high seat of an 18 wheeler and as you might imagine when a cage goes by me I have a fairly unrestricted view into a vehicle. Seen sex acts done in a cage seen some "stuff" that no one should see and some things that made me laugh right out loud. Also seen a fait amount of Children NOT buckled in But that are another story. As the title on the subject line sez-FUNNIEST. Sometime in the 90s my big truck is right near gross-max legal without permit 80000 pounds on 5 axles and I was close. Getting near Chattanooga on I-75 South with Atlanta on my mind. There is a good uphill there just before Chattanooga that guts a good truck with a load and I was in the left lane and my truck got gutted. Finally made it back into the right lane and I saw the car approaching in my left mirror. Old gal in the passenger seat-think granny from The Beverly Hillbillies-Snow White hair pulled into a very tight bun plain black dress that covered most of her neck a Cameo at her neck wire framed round glasses and when she was Sure I was paying attention and looking at her she extends the middle finger of her right hand-Very bony finger-and also mouths-F U! Took me a minute but I almost laughed myself outa my seat!  Soooooooo what's made you laugh out on the road? RIDE SAFE.

Mont Eagle Mtn?

[bill-jr]

[/quote]Mont Eagle Mtn?

[/quote]

He said l-75 tword the nooga . . . .
 Dont think that would be mt eagle mtn. . .

[The emperor has no clothes]

A few years ago, I was riding home from work. It was a holiday weekend (I don't remember which). Traffic was fairly heavy and we would have to stop at every light and advance slowly. As I approached a pickup pulling a boat on my right a beautiful 30 year old woman rolls down the window. Smiles at me, bends over and pulls down her bikini bottom and sticks her ass out the window at me.  We were moving so slowly and so close, that if I had tipping money on me I could have slipped a $20 in the slot.  I started busting up laughing and enjoyed the rest of my ride home. 

[Jess from VA]

A few years ago, I was riding home from work. It was a holiday weekend (I don't remember which). Traffic was fairly heavy and we would have to stop at every light and advance slowly. As I approached a pickup pulling a boat on my right a beautiful 30 year old woman rolls down the window. Smiles at me, bends over and pulls down her bikini bottom and sticks her ass out the window at me.  We were moving so slowly and so close, that if I had tipping money on me I could have slipped a $20 in the slot.  I started busting up laughing and enjoyed the rest of my ride home. 

I'm sorry officer, but in all the traffic and confusion, I thought it was the toll booth machine.

The machine had never squealed like that before though.   

If it wasn't a toll booth..... can you help me get my money back?

[Jess from VA]

In college, I took road trips down I-75 with male and coed passengers to WVa camping on long weekends in my 67' Dodge van.  The side doors didn't slide, they opened and closed like front doors.  Guys in back drinking beer needed to pee, so I'd get in the slow lane, and they'd crack the door and take turns kneeling taking a leak out the door.  I hit a bunch of bad potholes one time, and the side door slammed shut.  Fortunately, it was between pees.   The gals asked what they were supposed to do, and I told them there was a bucket in storage under the bed.  They were not amused.  The rest of us were though.

Out of town south from me, there is a popular corner with long lines at the lights popular with the homeless for panhandling.  Sometimes their signs are pretty funny.  An old toothless grey haired guy, in shredded bib overalls and tank top looked like he had last bathed in 1965, had a sign that he will work for sex.  Pretty ingenious, as he got more cash than most...... presumably no one wanted the sex so gave cash instead.  

[old2soon]

In college, I took road trips down I-75 with male and coed passengers to WVa camping on long weekends in my 67' Dodge van.  The side doors didn't slide, they opened and closed like front doors.  Guys in back drinking beer needed to pee, so I'd get in the slow lane, and they'd crack the door and take turns kneeling taking a leak out the door.  I hit a bunch of bad potholes one time, and the side door slammed shut.  Fortunately, it was between pees.   The gals asked what they were supposed to do, and I told them there was a bucket in storage under the bed.  They were not amused.  The rest of us were though.

Out of town south from me, there is a popular corner with long lines at the lights popular with the homeless for panhandling.  Sometimes their signs are pretty funny.  An old toothless grey haired guy, in shredded bib overalls and tank top looked like he had last bathed in 1965, had a sign that he will work for sex.  Pretty ingenious, as he got more cash than most...... presumably no one wanted the sex so gave cash instead.  

                 Seems ta me I gotz some torn up overalls SOMEWHERE!  RIDE SAFE.

[Hooter]

I used to haul coats from Freidlands here in my home town years ago to Ft Smith Arkansas.  This was a second job for me and I had to make good time in order to be back here on time for my regular job. I too saw the high speed circus just like you mentioned.

Back then the CB was also not only information but a gig all its own that kept things interesting to say the least. It also along with good coffee kept me awake.

Anyway, 75 headed south one early morning when I saw a vehicle approaching in my mirror.  They were traveling pretty good till they got to the back of my trailer. They slowly got up beside my tractor. I looked over andwhat I thought might be a cute little thing was holding a sign up saying: I will blo_ you for a sandwich.  Then two bare butts came out from the front and back windows. Then the butts went in and the sign came back out. This lasted for about 5 miles at roughly 50 MPH. Oh, the funny thing, both these girls would make a train take a dirt road. When I finally got a look at something other than their tushy and noticed how un-good-looking they were I laughed my buns off. They got an "A" for effort!

[The emperor has no clothes]

I used to haul coats from Freidlands here in my home town

Ok, you peeked my curiousity. I've never heard of such a job.  ???

[Hooter]

In what way Mr Meathead?

[The emperor has no clothes]

In what way Mr Meathead?

You drove coats from one store to another store ?

[Hooter]

Nope, manufacturer to a distributor.

[Karen]

Many years ago in upstate NY, I was tooling along, and all this chatter came on the CB about a load of pigs that had gotten out of a truck after an accident. Never saw them, but the conversation turned to the differences between pigs and sheep. Someone mentioned that pigs could cook, but sheep couldn't. The CB went absolutely quiet when I said "Sheep don't have to..." I think it was my best line ever...

[The emperor has no clothes]

Nope, manufacturer to a distributor.

ah....sometimes I'm a little slow. 

[old2soon]

Nope, manufacturer to a distributor.

ah....sometimes I'm a little slow. 

             ONLY time I cared bout What wuz In the trailer wuz if it would splode or flam. Freight be freight and I got paid loaded or empty. Course seein newbies emptying their trailer along the road or locales Other than Where it were sposed to be had it's moments.  As I stated in the O P I've seen "stuff" no ne should see. RIDE SAFE.

[gregk]

Seen some head bobin once when I came up on a guy that was having trouble controlling his car an  I damn near drove in the ditch with a mail truck laughin.

[Black Dog]

"Sheep don't have to..."

Good one 

Black Dog

[Jess Tolbirt]

Mont Eagle Mtn?

He said l-75 tword the nooga . . . .
 Dont think that would be mt eagle mtn. . .

how in the world did i get 75 and 24 crossed in my mind?

[old2soon]

Mont Eagle Mtn?

He said l-75 tword the nooga . . . .
 Dont think that would be mt eagle mtn. . .

how in the world did i get 75 and 24 crossed in my mind?

                Um uh well it are yer story! RIDE SAFE.