A situation in church Sunday got me to chuckling.....

[John Schmidt]

I generally take a seat in the same area each week. This past Sunday a rather heavy set woman that attends regularly chose to sit in front of me and when we stood at one point I noticed her skirt was caught in her butt crack. That reminded me of a joke and I got to chuckling over it, causing the wife of a good friend to give me a quizzical look from the other end of the pew.

To wit:
A guy showed up at work Monday with two black eyes and was questioned by his boss as to the source. He said a fat lady sat in front of him in church and when they stood, he noticed her skirt was stuck in her butt crack. He figured she wouldn't want that so he removed it with a little tug on the skirt, whereupon she turned around and slugged him. At that point, he decided she must want it stuck up there like that so he put it back. 

[Jersey mike]

Gee John, THANKS ALOT, now that will be forever in my bank of stupid jokes and will come back to haunt me at the worst time. but I know I'll remember the source of the joke too and that will also probably make me laugh even more making any situation even a little more nuts. thanks 

[John Schmidt]

Gee John, THANKS ALOT, now that will be forever in my bank of stupid jokes and will come back to haunt me at the worst time. but I know I'll remember the source of the joke too and that will also probably make me laugh even more making any situation even a little more nuts. thanks 

Now you know what was going through my mind at that moment. It kept creeping back to me as the service progressed, not sure I got much out of the sermon. 

[vanagon40]

I generally take a seat in the same area each week. . . .

Does anyone not take a seat in the same area each week (or in exactly the same same pew in the exactly the same spot)? I got in trouble with my wife when I called the "new" couple at church the "seat stealers" [they were sitting in our seats] and I was apparently a little loud.

I even park in exactly the same parking spot, no matter what the occasion or how crowded the parking lot.

[John Schmidt]

I don't, when I say the same general area it's usually toward the front which is the only regular thing about where I sit. It will be on either side of the main center aisle but seldom in the same seat as the week before. I try to stay within the first six rows. The pastor kidded me about my "up front" seating after church one day, I told him it forces me to stay awake. He didn't laugh much but his sweetie of a wife was howling with laughter, all the while pointing at him. He's never brought it up since! 

[old2soon]

I notice at large events at My Church of choice sometimes-well most times-"my" seat is taken!   And I try most times to roll with the flow! Once in awhile I iz successful-rollin with the flow-Sometimes. I've noticed since I drag an o2 cylinder into church now I tend to sit in the first row inside the door. I tried the concentrator but I noticed how noisy it is during silent prayer. Far as John's original dress stuck thingy-I fer one would NEVER mention that to any female anywhere anytime much less help with an adjustment.   Course ya duz realize of course next time I Am in Church and I observe dress tucked sorta thing-it WILL be difficult to suppress chuckles and outright guffaws!   GEE-Thanks John!   RIDE SAFE.

[John Schmidt]

I notice at large events at My Church of choice sometimes-well most times-"my" seat is taken!   And I try most times to roll with the flow! Once in awhile I iz successful-rollin with the flow-Sometimes. I've noticed since I drag an o2 cylinder into church now I tend to sit in the first row inside the door. I tried the concentrator but I noticed how noisy it is during silent prayer. Far as John's original dress stuck thingy-I fer one would NEVER mention that to any female anywhere anytime much less help with an adjustment.   Course ya duz realize of course next time I Am in Church and I observe dress tucked sorta thing-it WILL be difficult to suppress chuckles and outright guffaws!   GEE-Thanks John!   RIDE SAFE.

My pleasure Dennis. 

[Gryphon Rider]

I would have whispered in my wife's ear, "It seems Myrtle is unaware of her trouble; would you discretely help her with that?" just to see Sandra's reaction.

I will admit to sometimes having an urge to pluck contrastingly-coloured, long hairs off of the backs of women sitting in front of me.

[John Schmidt]

Gryphon, I probably would have rec'd. an elbow in the ribs, followed by her giggling over the woman's dilemma for the next few minutes. When it comes to such things, my gal is no better than I am when keeping her composure. She was too much of a practical joker to not see the humor in an event at someone else's expense.   However, she no longer is able to attend services with me so I miss the interaction that takes place....comments under her breath such as an "oh my" when some woman walks in with a real gauche outfit on, or wearing a huge hat that looks like it could double for a patio umbrella....or parachute!