lost a good neighbor

Gavin_Sons · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:16:10

Found out last night my neighbor was in a hunting accident. Apparently he took his 4 yearold hunting with him and his brother and somehow ended up shot and killed in the blind they were all in. Itis still unclear how it happened but he was a great guy. 29 years old with a 4 year old son that was there with him and a 1 year old daughter and a wife. I justtalked to him friday evening and he was gone on saturday morning.

I can't imagine what his wife and kids are going through.

The emperor has no clothes · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:26:03

I can't imagine the trauma of a 4 year old watching his father killed.

Gavin_Sons · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:36:00

Quote from: meathead on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:26:03
I can't imagine the trauma of a 4 year old watching his father killed.

I know it. He is such a sweet little boy too. My boys ride bikes with him around the neighborhood. He is over here a lot. Very polite as was his dad and mom. Tony, the dad, would have given his shirt off his back to anyone. My wife has already contacted his wife and we are watching their house until she decides to return. As are other neighbors. I just wish I had something comforting to say to her but I don't. I know if I was in that situation I would want left alone.

The emperor has no clothes · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:42:28

Quote from: Gavin_Sons on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:36:00
Quote from: meathead on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:26:03
I can't imagine the trauma of a 4 year old watching his father killed.

I know it. He is such a sweet little boy too. My boys ride bikes with him around the neighborhood. He is over here a lot. Very polite as was his dad and mom. Tony, the dad, would have given his shirt off his back to anyone. My wife has already contacted his wife and we are watching their house until she decides to return. As are other neighbors. I just wish I had something comforting to say to her but I don't. I know if I was in that situation I would want left alone.

I probably would to. I'm not good with helping others in grief. I have no good advice. Have you had to tell your kids about it yet ? That's going to be tough.

Gavin_Sons · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 20:33:48

Quote from: meathead on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:42:28
Quote from: Gavin_Sons on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:36:00
Quote from: meathead on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 19:26:03
I can't imagine the trauma of a 4 year old watching his father killed.

I know it. He is such a sweet little boy too. My boys ride bikes with him around the neighborhood. He is over here a lot. Very polite as was his dad and mom. Tony, the dad, would have given his shirt off his back to anyone. My wife has already contacted his wife and we are watching their house until she decides to return. As are other neighbors. I just wish I had something comforting to say to her but I don't. I know if I was in that situation I would want left alone.
I probably would to. I'm not good with helping others in grief. I have no good advice. Have you had to tell your kids about it yet ? That's going to be tough.

Yeah they know. It was a tough discussion, even with a 4 and 7 year old.

JimmyG · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 20:42:35

Sorry to hear this. There just never seems to be the right thing to say in such a tragedy.

Bighead · Sun 21, Jan 2018, 22:42:54

Gavin sorry to hear this but you can set those kids on the right path ( not saying they weren't on it) but be there and help when you can. It will. Be remembered and appreciated in the future. All kid need guidance and you can help with teaching them things that will stay with them throughout their lives.

Gavin_Sons · Mon 22, Jan 2018, 04:44:27

Quote from: Bighead on Sun 21, Jan 2018, 22:42:54
Gavin sorry to hear this but you can set those kids on the right path ( not saying they weren't on it) but be there and help when you can. It will. Be remembered and appreciated in the future. All kid need guidance and you can help with teaching them things that will stay with them throughout their lives.

I highly doubt that his wife and kids stick around here. Her family lives 2 hours north and his are 2 hours east. This was their first house they bought right before they were married 6 years ago. I see her selling it and moving closer to her parents. But if they stay those kids are always welcome at my house.

Hook#3287 · Mon 22, Jan 2018, 06:15:05

Terrible news.

Being on both sides of this type of tragedy, I've come to believe there is nothing "right" to say.

All you can do is offer your condolences and help. The simpler the better, unless the grieved decides to continue the discussion.

cookiedough · Mon 22, Jan 2018, 06:17:09

I was around 10-12 when my best friends mom died, neighbors on same street. Car accident the husband was driving drunk and hit a guard rail on passenger side where wife was, not good.

We took my best friend in a lot in our house in those younger years so if your kids want to take their kid in to your house more and play, go for it, am sure will do some good.

Sorry for the loss. My moms long time neighbor died unexpectedly as well this year a few months ago of a heart attack age 70 who did a lot for my mom like shoveling and taking garbage to recycling center. It sucks!

3fan4life · Mon 22, Jan 2018, 20:14:50

Terrible news

Praying for the family.

FryeVRCCDS0067 · Mon 22, Jan 2018, 21:36:47

Man that's horrible. Prayers for all involved. 4 is pretty young, hopefully this memory goes away for the boy.

MarkT · Tue 23, Jan 2018, 12:01:52

Found the reports online then his page on fb. Pics of his kids there. Such a tragedy. Feel so bad for his kids & wife.

Gryphon Rider · Tue 23, Jan 2018, 12:29:12

Better to say something that acknowledges their loss, then offer specific practical helps, such as making meals, caring for the house, watching the kids. "If there's anything we can do to help, let us know" is far less helpful to the grieving than asking if you can do some specific thing for them. Grieving people can feel isolated when people avoid them because they don't know what to say.