John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15324
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« on: January 23, 2018, 06:01:44 PM » |
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Contrary to common belief....it's not just for end-of-life scenarios although it was discussed(not a really fun subject). She's in a lot of pain and their main goal for now is to help control it and make her more comfortable in the process. She's unable to sleep much due to pain, doesn't eat much for the same reason....I kid her about it, telling her it's my cooking that causes her to not eat much. We're hoping that by increasing her comfort level it will help with both the sleeping and eating. As for sleep at night, if she doesn't....then I don't. It will take some time to dial in the level of pain meds needed to be effective and still allow a somewhat normal day-to-day existence. At 79-80 lbs. I don't figure it's going to take a very big dose of anything. I'm hoping the nurses aides will help take some of the load off me at least for a while, stuff like helping her bathe, fix her hair, dressing her....stuff a person normally does for themselves. She is able to take herself to the bathroom most of the time, but once in a while she's too weak to go by herself. That's when you find you really can do things for your loved one that you never suspected you'd have to do back when you said those "I do's" all those years ago. Then you pick her up, all 80 lbs., and carry her back to the bed. For us it's one day at a time and be thankful for it.  |
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« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2018, 06:09:42 PM » |
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Serk
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« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2018, 06:13:32 PM » |
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I'll admit it, my heart sank when I read the subject, but it was lifted as I read your message.
I can only hope I have half your strength when or if I'm in your situation.
Much respect sir... Much respect.
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2018, 06:39:31 PM » |
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I'll admit it, my heart sank when I read the subject, but it was lifted as I read your message.
I can only hope I have half your strength when or if I'm in your situation.
Much respect sir... Much respect.
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OnaWingandaPrayer
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« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2018, 06:54:04 PM » |
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God Bless you both . The Hospice folks I have seen work at their calling are wonderful people.
May Rita be comforted and you be comfortable with the Hospice folks helping you provide loving care.
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Ken aka Oil Burner
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« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2018, 06:57:21 PM » |
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God bless you and your wife, sir. As was already said, much respect.
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Farside
Member
Posts: 2592
Let's get going!
S. GA - N. FL
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« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2018, 07:42:54 PM » |
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God Bless you John & God Bless Rita. Hospice folks do an excellent job. I hope you both get your rest, prayers being sent.  |
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Farside
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old2soon
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« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2018, 09:10:13 PM » |
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John-I can't say it any better than has been said. PRAYERS up for Rita and you my Friend.  |
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check. 1964 1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240 2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
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Pete
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« Reply #8 on: January 24, 2018, 04:31:32 AM » |
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Best wishes and prayers to both of you.
May God hold both of you in his hand and answer all your prayers.
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solo1
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« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2018, 05:04:50 AM » |
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John, I too, thought that this was it. I have a vague idea of what you're going through. I sincerely hope and pray that hospice will make it easier for both of you and you will continue to be a 'team' for some time.
My wife has been gone for 16 years now and the memory of her and my duty as caregiver is still with me. She reached the point also where she needed hospice care and, since she weighed over 300 pounds, I could no longer take care of her when she could walk no longer. Checking her into a nursing home was the hardest thing that I ever done. I was with her eight days later when she passed and just like you, I thought about our marriage vows. In sickness and in health, till death do us part.
I was heartened by words from the cardiologist saying my care giving gave her a few more years of life.
You, John, have been through a lot with your wife and also your daughters, plus having your own severe medical problems. You have kept the Faith, you have done what needed to be done, and believe me, when all is done you will have memories of your loved ones and a certain aura of a blessed satisfaction in knowing that you have walked the walk and have not come away wanting.
Prayers for you and Rita AND your daughters.
Wayne, solo1
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Skinhead
Member
Posts: 8742
J. A. B. O. A.
Troy, MI
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« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2018, 05:09:27 AM » |
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It takes a good man to be a caregiver like that. I'm sorry you're both going through this, but the love is plain to see. BEST wishes for you both.
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« Last Edit: January 24, 2018, 08:18:52 AM by Skinhead »
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hubcapsc
Member
Posts: 16799
upstate
South Carolina
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« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2018, 05:17:51 AM » |
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Hospice is good people.
And if you're looking for something on the bright side for Rita: she's
lucky to have you.
-Mike
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Ramie
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« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2018, 05:36:29 AM » |
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Will be praying for you both.
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“I am not a courageous person by nature. I have simply discovered that, at certain key moments in this life, you must find courage in yourself, in order to move forward and live. It is like a muscle and it must be exercised, first a little, and then more and more. A deep breath and a leap.”
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #13 on: January 24, 2018, 05:39:15 AM » |
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Prayers for you both. You are a testament of what it takes to be a good husband. May God be with you both.
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 VRCC # 24157 |
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Tailgate Tommy
Member
Posts: 1438
2000 Interstate, 2001 Interstate and 2003 Standard
Fort Collins, Colorado
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« Reply #14 on: January 24, 2018, 05:56:27 AM » |
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John you're a good man. Prayers for you and your wife.
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TJ
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« Reply #15 on: January 24, 2018, 06:27:10 AM » |
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I'll admit it, my heart sank when I read the subject, but it was lifted as I read your message.
I can only hope I have half your strength when or if I'm in your situation.
Much respect sir... Much respect.
+10 You have my number if you need anything at all..... |
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« Last Edit: January 24, 2018, 06:32:05 AM by TJ »
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G-Man
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« Reply #16 on: January 24, 2018, 07:27:19 AM » |
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Love and strength, brother!
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15324
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #17 on: January 24, 2018, 07:41:55 AM » |
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Prayers for you both. You are a testament of what it takes to be a good husband. May God be with you both.
Re. hospice, we're both a bit apprehensive since we just signed up for it, yet I'm cautiously optimistic as well. I don't like the stigma attached to the term "hospice" yet hopeful they can effect some pain relief for Rita. When it comes to caring for my wife, I had a good example in my dad. He outlived two wives....the first was lost to cancer, the second to a stroke. He lived nearly 10 yrs. beyond the second one, passing away at 93. I watched as he went about his business of providing for their needs in every form and fashion. My parents were devout Christians, both my first which was my adoptive mother, and the second as my stepmom. Dad didn't understand why he would be tested twice in his lifetime, yet never wavered in his devotion. When Big BF was here, I was glad that Rita was really doing quite good for a couple days and didn't need a lot of extra attention, allowing me the chance to spend some time with Bill. I thank you all for your thoughts and concerns and I'm working on getting someone to come stay with her so I can attend InZane this year. Hope to see you there. |
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Gryphon Rider
Member
Posts: 5232
2000 Tourer
Calgary, Alberta
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« Reply #18 on: January 24, 2018, 09:40:27 AM » |
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John, I have a great deal of admiration for you. Should I find myself in a similar situation (my wife needing my physical care) I will surely remember your testimony and seek to follow your example so far as I am able, and as she permits me.
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henry 008
Member
Posts: 1538
BRP
willard, oh
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« Reply #19 on: January 24, 2018, 09:53:57 AM » |
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Best wishes and prayers to both of you.
May God hold both of you in his hand and answer all your prayers.
+1 God bless |
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Safe Winds... Brother  |
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Charlie McCready
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« Reply #20 on: January 24, 2018, 10:07:45 AM » |
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John, you're a good man. Wishing the best for you and Rita.
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98valk
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« Reply #21 on: January 24, 2018, 10:17:01 AM » |
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God Bless you both. praying for her recovery.
You both are In His Grip!
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1998 Std/Tourer, 2007 DR200SE, 1981 CB900C 10speed
1973 Duster 340 4-speed rare A/C, 2001 F250 4x4 7.3L, 6sp
"Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the goverment of any other."
John Adams 10/11/1798
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Patrick
Member
Posts: 15433
VRCC 4474
Largo Florida
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« Reply #22 on: January 24, 2018, 11:14:56 AM » |
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I wish the best for both of you.
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specialdose
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« Reply #23 on: January 24, 2018, 12:06:48 PM » |
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John, have not had a wife in this situation, but my mother. No shame in needing help especially with moving and lifting. Professionals have the sling lifting devices that make it much easier. My mother was much more comfortable and at ease being assisted like that than someone lifting her. Us old geezers don't need to blow out our back and become the patient. That way you can be there with Rita to provide the hugs and kisses and encouragement that she so adores from her loving husband. Rita and you are on my prayer list. God's healing touch on Rita and His grace and peace on ya'll. regards, Larry |
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Karen
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« Reply #24 on: January 24, 2018, 12:22:13 PM » |
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Hospice is a wonderful thing when it is needed. I believe I owe them my sanity, or what's left of it. Easing pain, giving comfort, and helping you do those things you need to do. James Taylor did a song on his JT album, the first line is "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time..." such a simple truth. You are one of the strongest people I know, and Rita, and the rest of your family are blessed to have you.
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DDT (12)
Member
Posts: 4120
Sometimes ya just gotta go...
Winter Springs, FL - Occasionally...
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« Reply #25 on: January 24, 2018, 01:17:13 PM » |
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John,
You are an incredible person going through an incredible experience. As near as any of us can see, you are doing all the right things... impressively so! My best hopes and regards to Rita and you. God bless...
DDT
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Don't just dream it... LIVE IT!
See ya down the road...
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Bigwolf
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« Reply #26 on: January 24, 2018, 02:18:42 PM » |
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John,
That had to be a tough decision and not without anguish. You have a good attitude though and as so many others have said, you are a good man doing an admirable job. I wish you and your wife peace in this chapter of your life.
Bigwolf
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Pappy!
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« Reply #27 on: January 24, 2018, 02:23:15 PM » |
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Best wishes for the best outcome...from Lesa and myself.
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Jess Tolbirt
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« Reply #28 on: January 24, 2018, 04:32:39 PM » |
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John, reading your post made me cry like a baby,, rest assured you and yours are in my prayers every night..
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larue
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« Reply #29 on: January 25, 2018, 05:24:36 AM » |
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Best wishes to both of you and hats off to you John for all you've done re Rita
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Robert
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« Reply #30 on: January 25, 2018, 05:37:09 AM » |
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I am happy if you are with the living situation but unhappy you and Rita had to go through this. Will keep you in my prayers
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“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
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