Snowman.....

8:00 I made a snowman.

8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's
voluptuous chest.

8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been
two snowmen instead.

8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as
veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.

8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.

8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be
removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse
after I mutter : "Yeah, if it's up your a***"

8:45 Local TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the
difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and
am called a sexist.

8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being
blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up
trouble during this difficult weather.

9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.

9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

Moral: When it's this cold, stay inside.