A racist joke?

[Momz]

 
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.


A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"


The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"


The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.


"If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?


Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?


Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?


Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?


Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"


The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."


The guy says, "Because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"



"The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."

[MP]

Now you did it.  All the Pollacks on here will demand you take it down.  Racist, you know.   

MP

[Momz]

I'm sure I offended a few Home Depot shoppers too. 

[BF]

I'd bet that you could find a Black and Decker in Home Depot.   

[Patrick]

I just spent an hour in Home Depot and couldn't find any sausage of any kind. I went for Irish Bangers and italian hot.

[WayneH]

It may not be racist but it is certainly derogatory as it clearly implies that people of Polish extraction are too stupid to know where to shop, which, and unless you have been under a rock for the last two decades, you must know have formed the basis of most Polish "jokes"... too stupid or too slow.

[Patrick]

We have to be so politically correct today. What ever happened to good old blatantly shameful fun at others expense. It was the American way.  I guess priest, rabbi, minister, blond, duck, gorilla and horse etc  jokes are all off limits now for fear of offending someone or some group. I guess i'm glad I've already heard about all the Irish and Italian jokes already. I'll have to start writing them down for prosperity.

[bill-jr]

I'm so cracking up @ BF, and the little dancing baby just icing on the cake .....
Forth of July weekend my 3 yr old niece was eating at a local Mexican resturant will the wife and I when she stands up in the booth and asks me with wide eyes .... How do you make a tissue dance?
I don't know? I say ........
Put a little boogie in it!!!!! .....
I never laughed so hard ......
On a serious note ----
How is a woman similar to a condom?
If its not on your d*%k it's in your wallet ......--insert rimshot here ----

[fudgie]

I'm so cracking up @ BF, and the little dancing baby just icing on the cake .....
Forth of July weekend my 3 yr old niece was eating at a local Mexican resturant will the wife and I when she stands up in the booth and asks me with wide eyes .... How do you make a tissue dance?
I don't know? I say ........
Put a little boogie in it!!!!! .....
I never laughed so hard ......
On a serious note ----
How is a woman similar to a condom?
If its not on your d*%k it's in your wallet ......--insert rimshot here ----

 

[Patrick]

I'm so cracking up @ BF, and the little dancing baby just icing on the cake .....
Forth of July weekend my 3 yr old niece was eating at a local Mexican resturant will the wife and I when she stands up in the booth and asks me with wide eyes .... How do you make a tissue dance?
I don't know? I say ........
Put a little boogie in it!!!!! .....
I never laughed so hard ......
On a serious note ----




How is a woman similar to a condom?
If its not on your d*%k it's in your wallet ......--insert rimshot here ----

 

When you've been married as long as I have, the woman is on the other side. And, yep , in your wallet.

[Jess Tolbirt]

actually here at our home depot you can get a polish sausage,, they sell them right outside the exit door in a hot dog stand,, i get the polish sausage chicago style,,MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

[Hoser]

actually here at our home depot you can get a polish sausage,, they sell them right outside the exit door in a hot dog stand,, i get the polish sausage chicago style,,MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

They have a stand at Lowe's, at some locations. Polish, Bratwurst, and if you want, Hot Dogs.  Hoser   

[john]

          what's the difference between a tribe of pigmies and a womans track team  ?       

[John Schmidt]

Oh wow, now you're all in trouble. I'm Italian, with a German name(adopted). I raised four girls.....two brownettes, one blackhead, one blonde. I married a woman with Native American ancestry(Cherokee). The jokes, pranks, and general ribbing never ceased when the girls were all home and it continued after they left. Two married Scandinavians, one an Italian, one we call a mongrel because of such a mixed ancestry. Cracks him up.  Some of the best Pollock jokes I've ever heard came from Polish fellow workers(most I can't post here however). Same goes for blonde or ethnic jokes. One gal that worked for me in my audit group was obviously not a natural blonde, based on the roots that would start to show after a few weeks. So finally one day I kidded her about it, told her she simply needed to let it grow out to her natural dark colored hair. Her answer had me rolling on the floor; "no way, I couldn't handle the responsibility."  

As for the original post, I heard it before from a good friend we call Rab....short for Rabazinski. I have a few Italian jokes that most likely wouldn't be considered appropriate....but they're really funny. And....if you're overweight, don't get too mad. Fat melts when it reaches the boiling point.  

[bill-jr]

Would love to hear some Italian jokes .... I am half daygo half mick ....
Love my potatoes and my pasta ......

[John Schmidt]

Would love to hear some Italian jokes .... I am half daygo half mick ....
Love my potatoes and my pasta ......

Hey, why do you think my pool has an oil slick on it. I goes a swimmin' regularly.     OK, I'll quit.

Maybe one more. How does Lays get that grease on their tater chips....oh never mind.

[da prez]

  How do you get a pollak out of a swimming pool?


               Throw in a bar of soap!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many blond jokes are there? 

  Just two, all the rest are true!!
              So the blond asked , which two???????????????????????????????????
                 da prez

[Dag]

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
"If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"
"The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."

when I'm at the restaurant the waiter always ask if I'm Finnish....
I always answer - no, I'm from Norway

[MacDragon]

It's funny. I actually have said that joke with a statement that it seems Polish people have been getting a bad rap for decades with jokes about stupidity.  They are no more stupid than any other nationality.  Just yesterday I had a gentleman sitting in my office by the name of Jerzy Surma doing business with me.  Thick Polish accent.
Google him and you'll find that he is well rounded as a Professor of Mathamatical Logic and Business information Systems.  Smart fella for sure.

[Willow]

While we're spending time laughing at what we think is humorous, I'm going to take the bother to be the proverbial stick in the mud.

When we find humor at implying that a group of people is stupid because of where or to what lineage they were born, the question isn't whether there is something wrong with the joke; the question is is there something wrong with my perspective.  Yes, I know it has beem a part of our culture.  I know that a lot of us, including myself, listened to and repeated many such jokes as we were growing up.  I am a grown up now and I've come to realize that a lot of what I accepted as just the way things are have not been correct.

I know I'm one of those guys that is different than the masses, but even blond jokes cause me to stop and think about where they started and why so many people find them funny.  I like blondes.  I don't think they're born in a particular intellectual category in association with the genes that gave them blond hair.  I like brunettes and I'm particularly fond of redheads.  If anyone starts telling jokes about either of those two groups from their own sense of jealousy, I'll be offended at those also.

Just so you don't jump to any conclusions about me, hardly a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on what a sense of humor I have.

The question isn't whether this is or isn't a racist joke.  The question is whether or not I am the kind of ass that thinks it's funny to pretend I'm better or smarter than someone else depending entirely on the location or lineage of his or her birth.  



Now back to your normal programming.  

[czuch]

A guy in a bar is having a beer. Another fella who is obviously Chinese sits down next to him and sips a beer. He asks, " Do you know Karate, Jiu Jitsu,or Kung Fu"?
The other guy says, "Why you ask me that? Because I'm Chinese"?
"No, because your drinking my beer".

[Detn8er]

While we're s[pending time laughing at what we think is humorous, I'm going to take the bother to be the proverbial sick in the mud.

When we find humor at implying that a group of people is stupid because of where or to what lineage they were born, the question isn't whether there is something wrong with the joke; the question is is there something wrong with my perspective.  Yes, I know it has beem a part of our culture.  I know that I and a lot of us, including myself, listened to and repeated many such jokes as we were groing up.  I am a grown up now and I've come tpo realize that a lot of what I accepted as just the way things are have not been correct.

I know I'm one of those guys that is different than the masses, but even blond jokes cause me to stop and think about where they started and why so many people find them funny.  I like blondes.  I don't think they're born in a particular intellectual category in association with the genes that gave them blond hair.  I like brunettes and I'm particularly fond of redheads.  If anyone starts telling jokes about either of those two groups from their own sense of jealousy, I'll be offended at those also.

Just so you don't jump to any conclusions about me, hardly a day goes by that someone doesn't comment on what a sense of humor I have.

The question isn't whether or not this is or isn't a racist joke.  The question is whether or not I am the kinf of ass that thinks it's funny to pretend I'm better or smarter than someone else depending entirely on the location or lineage of his or her birth. 



Now back to your normal programming.   

When I'm in mud I tend to be sick as well...... 

[Willow]

When I'm in mud I tend to be sick as well...... 

Yeah, I know.  I'm either going to have to learn to type or start reading my text before I hit the post button.   

[ricoman]

Polish, Italian, Swedish, Jewish, etc. jokes are not racist. Those groups are not a race of people. They are "ethnic" jokes.

Many here are old enough to remember when you could not tell a Pollack joke to a Pole or an Italian joke to an Italian, nor a Jewish joke to a Jew. You were likely to get your butt kicked if you did.
There was the Italian Anti-defamation League and Jewish Anti-Defamation League, for example, who worked to stop those jokes and the perception (real or not) that they were somehow inferior. Sinatra was hard working member of the Italian group.
Then, slowly, these groups began to realize there's nothing wrong with being a pollack, or a goomba, or a Jew and they gained a believe and confidence in themselves and could now laugh at themselves. A large part of this came from their realization that they were hard working contrbutors to the American society. They did not just sit on their backsides and take.
Sadly, that has not occured in many non-white races. Unless you are a comedian of that race, telling jokes about that race is taboo as is the use of some terminolgy. They set a double standard for themselves.
Someday everyone will lose the chips on their shoulders and realize it's OK to laugh at yourself. It will be easier for these folks to get there if they adjust their collective attitude to what it is needed to be a viable part of this country.
Just my random thoughts.

[G-Man]

Polish, Italian, Swedish, Jewish, etc. jokes are not racist. Those groups are not a race of people. They are "ethnic" jokes.

Many here are old enough to remember when you could not tell a Pollack joke to a Pole or an Italian joke to an Italian, nor a Jewish joke to a Jew. You were likely to get your butt kicked if you did.
There was the Italian Anti-defamation League and Jewish Anti-Defamation League, for example, who worked to stop those jokes and the perception (real or not) that they were somehow inferior. Sinatra was hard working member of the Italian group.
Then, slowly, these groups began to realize there's nothing wrong with being a pollack, or a goomba, or a Jew and they gained a believe and confidence in themselves and could now laugh at themselves. A large part of this came from their realization that they were hard working contrbutors to the American society. They did not just sit on their backsides and take.
Sadly, that has not occured in many non-white races. Unless you are a comedian of that race, telling jokes about that race is taboo as is the use of some terminolgy. They set a double standard for themselves.
Someday everyone will lose the chips on their shoulders and realize it's OK to laugh at yourself. It will be easier for these folks to get there if they adjust their collective attitude to what it is needed to be a viable part of this country.
Just my random thoughts.

All very true points made here.  However, if I may be a sick in the mud as well, it all depends on the context or situation in which the jokes, or snide comments are being made. 

I'm in the barber's chair getting my hair cut by a little Italian guy who I was going to for about 4 years.  Guilliani was Mayor in NYC at the time and he just started dating that woman, Judy....something.  The guy cutting my hair was talking about her with the other barber in their thick Italian accents.  The other barber said that he thought she had strange eyes.  Without missing a beat, my baber says "Well, she's a Jew".  They laughed hysterically.  I had to find a new barber.

There's bigotry (covers racism, ethnicism, sexism, etc.) everywhere.  Only the lowest in class present there's to the community.

[Momz]

A Pollack, an Italian, a German, a Jew, a Mexican, and an Irishman all walk into a bar and sit down.

The bartender says, "is this some kind of joke,......Home Depot is about a block north of here".

[Serk]

An <Ethnic of your choice> walks into a bar with an alligator.

He goes up to the bartender and says: "Do you serve <Ethnic of your choice>s here?"

Slightly embarrassed, the bartender says "Why yes, of course we do!"

The <Ethnic of your choice> person then says "Good. I'll have a beer for me, and an <Ethnic of your choice> for my alligator!"

----------

An <Ethnic of your choice> with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar.

Bartender says "Cool! Where'd you get that!?!?!?"

The parrot says "<Homeland of Ethnic of your choice>. They're all over the place there!"

[G-Man]

An <Ethnic of your choice> walks into a bar with an alligator.

He goes up to the bartender and says: "Do you serve <Ethnic of your choice>s here?"

Slightly embarrassed, the bartender says "Why yes, of course we do!"

The <Ethnic of your choice> person then says "Good. I'll have a beer for me, and an <Ethnic of your choice> for my alligator!"

----------

An <Ethnic of your choice> with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar.

Bartender says "Cool! Where'd you get that!?!?!?"

The parrot says "<Homeland of Ethnic of your choice>. They're all over the place there!"

[POPS 57]

Two old guys are sitting on a bench talking about the old days. There was a little bragging going on as the stories were told. One old guy says to the other. You ever sleep with brunette. He answered oh yes lots of them. Then he goes and asked back . You ever sleep with a blond. Just as fast he answered back more they you could count. Now the first guy thinks for a moment and asks you ever sleep with a redhead. Without a pause the old boy looks him in the eye and says not a wink!

[Willow]

Polish, Italian, Swedish, Jewish, etc. jokes are not racist. Those groups are not a race of people. They are "ethnic" jokes.

Many here are old enough to remember when you could not tell a Pollack joke to a Pole or an Italian joke to an Italian, nor a Jewish joke to a Jew. You were likely to get your butt kicked if you did.
There was the Italian Anti-defamation League and Jewish Anti-Defamation League, for example, who worked to stop those jokes and the perception (real or not) that they were somehow inferior. Sinatra was hard working member of the Italian group.
Then, slowly, these groups began to realize there's nothing wrong with being a pollack, or a goomba, or a Jew and they gained a believe and confidence in themselves and could now laugh at themselves. A large part of this came from their realization that they were hard working contrbutors to the American society. They did not just sit on their backsides and take.
Sadly, that has not occured in many non-white races. Unless you are a comedian of that race, telling jokes about that race is taboo as is the use of some terminolgy. They set a double standard for themselves.
Someday everyone will lose the chips on their shoulders and realize it's OK to laugh at yourself. It will be easier for these folks to get there if they adjust their collective attitude to what it is needed to be a viable part of this country.
Just my random thoughts.

It's only when I hear or read someone else's apparently well thought out opinion which is so obviously completely out of sync with reality that I am almost forced to reconsider whether my own viewpoint is just as absurd.

It's good that there are so many differing views amongst us.   

[ricoman]

Polish, Italian, Swedish, Jewish, etc. jokes are not racist. Those groups are not a race of people. They are "ethnic" jokes.

Many here are old enough to remember when you could not tell a Pollack joke to a Pole or an Italian joke to an Italian, nor a Jewish joke to a Jew. You were likely to get your butt kicked if you did.
There was the Italian Anti-defamation League and Jewish Anti-Defamation League, for example, who worked to stop those jokes and the perception (real or not) that they were somehow inferior. Sinatra was hard working member of the Italian group.
Then, slowly, these groups began to realize there's nothing wrong with being a pollack, or a goomba, or a Jew and they gained a believe and confidence in themselves and could now laugh at themselves. A large part of this came from their realization that they were hard working contrbutors to the American society. They did not just sit on their backsides and take.
Sadly, that has not occured in many non-white races. Unless you are a comedian of that race, telling jokes about that race is taboo as is the use of some terminolgy. They set a double standard for themselves.
Someday everyone will lose the chips on their shoulders and realize it's OK to laugh at yourself. It will be easier for these folks to get there if they adjust their collective attitude to what it is needed to be a viable part of this country.
Just my random thoughts.

It's only when I hear or read someone else's apparently well thought out opinion which is so obviously completely out of sync with reality that I am almost forced to reconsider whether my own viewpoint is just as absurd.

It's good that there are so many differing views amongst us.   

darn, I gave you credit for being smarter than that.
Apparently you are too young to remember what folks went thru and apparently you don't agree that self esteem came slowly to 1st and 2nd (even 3rd) generation immigrants because they were considered lower class, hence the derogatory jokes. My ancestors came here from central Europe and went through it. And they learned to not take themselves too seriously.
Yours obviously arrived on the Mayflower and did not.
Somehow, from your previous posts and replies (usually well thought out) I would have expected more from you.

[Willow]

I'm sixty-two, in truth a high mileage sixty-two.

Some of my ancestors arrived within twelve years of the Mayflower.  Some didn't arrive until the late nineteenth century.  Some were already here before Columbus sailed.

I like you Ricoman.  I hope you like me too.  One thing that makes America great is that we can believe one another to be completely out of touch on one subject or another and still get along.

I'm not really very smart, but I have learned to appear that way.   

[ricoman]

I like you Ricoman.  I hope you like me too.  One thing that makes America great is that we can believe one another to be completely out of touch on one subject or another and still get along.

I'm not really very smart, but I have learned to appear that way.   

point taken
You do not know me so I find it difficult that you would "like"me.
I do not know you except from this forum. Since I do not know you it is hard for me to "like" you.
I enjoy the expression of different opinions and I particularly enjoy your command of the English language. Do I "like" you - couldn't say, don't know you.

[Maddanthony_59]

A Pollock joke would be more Ethnic than Racist...

[Hoser]

I'm probly skating on thin ice here, but I sometimes call my part native american spouse my cute little blanket a$$.  She usually just throws something at me.  Hoser 

[Chrisj CMA]

OK......I will not try to speak for all the blondes out there or try to defend racially (black / white) jokes, HOWEVER the Polish jokes I know very well.  I am part Polish and my mothers side of the family knows SO MANY killer Pollock jokes you will just spend the whole time visiting them splitting a gut if they get on a joke telling spree.  See Polish jokes dont offend the Polish.  Well I guess the tone and intent is part of it, but the kind posted in here are NOT that kind, they are the ok ones.  We tell them too, so cut loose, I may learn a new one.

BTW I am part German and 50% Italian and I know the Italians like good old Italian jokes as well, so gimme yer best shot, you cant hardly offend if its funny 

[bill-jr]

How do you get a one arm pollock out of a tree ??
Wave .....
Oh here's a good one .....
What's the difference between jelly and jam?

[bill-jr]

I can't jelly this d%#k in your a$$....
Not really racist but still funny .....

[Chrisj CMA]

I can't jelly this d%#k in your a$$....
Not really racist but still funny .....

really......you really think that is funny.........to each his own I guess...

[Maddanthony_59]

To quote the Punch-Line from BoonDock Saints:

"I'll have a Coke!"...