Road Side Crosses….

[Highbinder]

Road Side Crosses seem to be showing up more and more a long our highways, I don't remember seeing so many when I was younger....I do remember the Burma Shave Signs and Indian Joe's Trading Post and so on.   But now when I see all these crosses I wonder what's going on in the mind of the people that put them there....I know no one is buried there and I know someone died there, but why do they only show up along the highways, people die all over the place, motel rooms, hospitals, trains, bathrooms, no crosses in any of those places...so does that mean they are not just marking the spot where a loved one die....and why just crosses, no Star of David's , no Buda's, or any other religious markings...so it's just a Christian thing?

                                                  I was riding down in Georgia one time on my way to Panama City and stopped to get some directions from a local woman and she started telling me how to go when she said "You take the Death Highway south to " I said whoa, Death Highway whats that, she said that's what we call this road because there is a cross every 3 or 400 yds along the side of the road....I took that road and sure enough she was right and the road was fairly straight with rolling hills, I couldn't really say that the road was at fault for all the deaths along it...made me think they were marking the places where there were a lot of bad drivers...

                                                  I realize some are trying to tell us the highways are dangerous, I already know this, so I checked a little further and found out that crosses were along roads long before my time, the settlers heading west buried there dead along the road all the time, difference is there is someone buried there....I for one if I had someone in my family killed along the road from a accident I won't want to be reminded of it everytime I came to the spot.

                                                  I don't have the answers, just questions about the increase of these crosses over the years and the individual reasons why people put them there...there are even businesses now that furnish and install the markers and some states charge a fee for you to put them along their roads...maybe I just think about some strange things as I ride down the road, maybe thats one of the reasons we ride...

[Misfit]

I can't answer your question Don, but I did partake in planting a couple of crosses a few years back. We were heading to a PGR mission on a Saturday. The night before, a soldier from Fort Carson that was going with us went to pick up his girl friend about 50 miles away so she could go with us the next morning. About a third of the way back they were both killed by a drunk driver. The next morning we went on the mission and heard the news about our fellow PGR member. The next week someone decided that we should place a couple of crosses at the wreck site. The next Saturday a group of us rode down and planted the crosses. They  also had a little service there. If I remember right my buddy Whooray was there with me.

[Robert]

There is a cross with a angel above it and there are flowers at the base on a street close to my work. Its always maintained almost like a shrine and one day I found this woman taking care of it changing the flowers and so I asked her what had happened. Her son got killed there and she was very sad but she didn't cry. When she told me that I remembered the news story about a boy who was drunk and was moving really good and couldn't make the curve. Now I see one of those road side crosses and think about her and her son and wonder when will she heal enough to let the spot go. I think about all the other stories that the crosses represent. Her son is not there anymore, I thank God for my hope and those around me that I know that where ever I die, it will be known that I will be with my Father and not at the spot it happened. I hope she will heal and hope all who planted the crosses will heal. I am sorry for each and every one that has been planted but it serves to remind that no one is guaranteed anything and make the most of it now because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Life goes on regardless.

[Gryphon Rider]

The place for memorials is at cemeteries and columbariums (places where urns of ashes are kept).  I see far too many weathered tattered roadside memorials with flowers and crosses and stuffed animals taped to traffic light standards.  Our municipalities provide memorial gardens for that purpose; use them instead.  My thoughts are not aimed at anyone in particular, but at society in general.

[Chrome]

I did put a roadside cross to replace an old beat up one afew years ago for my friend Bill. Did it for him. Brought tears to his widow when she saw it. Did it for Bill. Did it for me. Had tears when I placed it. I just did it.
Adrian

[BF]

We call our main east/west highway here "Bloody 98". 

It's not the highway's fault, but still, it's earned the title. 

[..]

I did put a roadside cross to replace an old beat up one afew years ago for my friend Bill. Did it for him. Brought tears to his widow when she saw it. Did it for Bill. Did it for me. Had tears when I placed it. I just did it.
Adrian

[..]

When riding the roads I ride here in the mountains of the SE I see a few crosses.

There are more than used to be.  

Some of the newer ones are placed in memory of riders I knew and rode with. 

I see them and I roll off the throttle a tad.

Maybe that's the message we all need to read?

[Misfit]

I did put a roadside cross to replace an old beat up one afew years ago for my friend Bill. Did it for him. Brought tears to his widow when she saw it. Did it for Bill. Did it for me. Had tears when I placed it. I just did it.
Adrian

You're a good man Adrian. Proud to call you a friend. 

[Jess from VA]

Of course all of these memorials (like funerals) are for the benefit of the living, not the dead.

If it helps relieve grieving souls, then I guess it is a good thing. 

Most that I see are old and ragged.  If you won't maintain it, you should take it down.

To the extent multiple memorials appear at certain locations, it seems to commercialize a request for some (unspecified) DOT safety action (speed, signage, railings, yada).  I'd just go right to DOT.

I don't think I'd like my name on some roadside memorial (no matter how I died).

If someone killed me, the best memorial would be a conviction.

[cookiedough]

Around yuppieville Madison WI they had to take a memorial down on a busy street for what they called 'safety' reasons along a busy street even though they are allowed there if good upkeep, etc.  The people using it as a memorial fought it and I think they won the argument, not really sure though. 

If not upkept, take it down, but I don' see an issue really at all besides that.

[Pepmyster]

I did put a roadside cross to replace an old beat up one afew years ago for my friend Bill. Did it for him. Brought tears to his widow when she saw it. Did it for Bill. Did it for me. Had tears when I placed it. I just did it.
Adrian

Very nice. True friend.

[R J]

My retired Insurance Agent used to sell for an Insurance Company who used to put up crosses.

I called him and asked why they put them up.

He said the idea was to alert drivers to the area where a lot of deaths happened to hope they would slow down.

He said they did it for 10 years and they voted to terminate them at their annual Stock Holders meeting.   

The ones being put up now he has no idea why.  He also said he didn't know of any Ins Co affiliated with the crosses. Also back when this Ins Co put them up, there was a Nationwide speed limit in the US, 35 MPH.   Oh, this was during WWII also.

[rainman]

When riding the roads I ride here in the mountains of the SE I see a few crosses.

There are more than used to be.  

Some of the newer ones are placed in memory of riders I knew and rode with. 

I see them and I roll off the throttle a tad.

Maybe that's the message we all need to read?

[solo1]

I have mixed feelings about it.  I personally think that memorials are best in cemeteries.

There are three crosses in my area that I know the history of.  The first is at a railroad crossing where a teenager was killed.  He hit the crossing gates at high speed at night and into the side of a stationary freight train. The crossing was marked with a full set of working gates and flashers. The night was clear, no fog or rain.  His parents sued the railroad and the city (they lost the suit).)  I guess that they wanted to blame someone.

The second was a car load of teenagers who ignored a stop sign and were T boned.

The third was at a stretch of straight road where the drunk father ran off the road, hit a pole, and killed his 6 year old daughter.

All the memorials now are tattered or gone.  Unfortunately,  I see these memorials in a different light.

[Oldfishguy]

On occasion I write for a couple of local publications.  I wrote this piece about a year ago or so; I can't quite bring myself to submit it.  You will see, leaves the impression the local guy is more than slightly off his rocker.

Black Eyed Susan's
       by
       David J. Weeres

                      The following is a creative piece; some of it is fact and other fiction. 
                                You'll have to decide for yourself what each is.       


It happened again yesterday.

I was out for a ride running a few errands, heading for home.  A case of motor oil strapped down on the back seat, three gallons of antifreeze in the bikes trunk, and a couple of Hoover vacuum cleaner belts in my pocket.  The rural stretch of two lane I was on was a rolling twisting series I knew well, and I was moving through them at a brisk pace.   That's when I saw it, up ahead, a hundred yards or so, off in the high side of the road ditch on my right . . . a bouquet of flowers.  I relaxed my grip on the throttle and let the springs unwind the engine, coasting now.  It was more than one bouquet; I could see better now moving within a hundred feet or so.  There are reds, yellows, and white flowers.  And a small wooden cross.  But that was not what I was looking for as I glided by.  I say out loud to myself, "Do not stop, no matter what . . . Do not stop!"

And then, I see what I was looking for: As I passed by, ever so quite, out of the corner of my eye next to the flowers in the side bank of the road was a door.  The door was an old barn door about three feet by three feet made of the wide vertical barn planks so common in this area.  Like a storm shelter, but it is not, and it is out of place.  It was hinged by two large hinges attached to the ground and swung open exposing the backside of the door.  And next to the door  . . . a hole in the ground.  Like a large rabbit hole, only the sun didn't penetrate in beyond the entry.  It was opaque but dark, and I couldn't see in. I know I was coasting by for just a second, but time slowed, and I saw it clearly.  I still shiver thinking about it.  This hasn't been the first time.

And just like that I'm past it, but this time I caught a whiff of something.  I wear a full face helmet with the visor up most days and the aromas tend to linger and swirl in front of my face.  It was the bouquet of flowers; I instinctively inhaled deeper taking the remnants with me.  For me to smell it, I must have been very close this time.  Black Eyed Susan's I think, my favorite. 

As I shift down and roll on the throttle my mind is clear of what I saw again . . .  and I slow my pace.  Maybe if I think of only the flowers.   Yup, that's it, think of just the flowers.   

[MP]

I have seen Stars of David, but not many. Some states allow it, some do not.  Some will only allow you to use their crosses.  Varies.  I feel the right place is the cemetery, or wherever.  However, who am I to tell a grieving family what is right for them?

MP

[WilliamRS]

The place for memorials is at cemeteries and columbariums (places where urns of ashes are kept).  I see far too many weathered tattered roadside memorials with flowers and crosses and stuffed animals taped to traffic light standards.  Our municipalities provide memorial gardens for that purpose; use them instead.  My thoughts are not aimed at anyone in particular, but at society in general.

the place for a memorial is whereever the grieving find comfort.

[Willow]

I'm good with people who place crosses (or almost any other small reminder) at a place where one of their loved ones was killed.  Some may do it as a reminder for themselves.  Some may do so as a means of announcing to others to relive their grief over their loved one's passing anonymously or alone.  I'm good with whatever they need to do.

[Rams]

I have mixed feelings about it.  I personally think that memorials are best in cemeteries.

SNIP

All the memorials now are tattered or gone.  Unfortunately,  I see these memorials in a different light.

I understand that family and friends want to memorialize the loved one that died. 

But, I agree, the home and cemetery are the place for such memorials.    I see State Transportation folks having to pick up these memorials after they've become tattered and trashy.    I don't believe I would want my family or friends to put up such a memorial for me.   Doubt I'll have to worry about that but, that's the way I feel.    I don't mind them but, if you're going to put one up, then maintain it.   To do other wise tells me, the person that's been memorialized has been forgotten.

[Hooter]

I agree with what Jess said. If you place one, take care of it. And if you do put one up just don't nail a stick to a 2 X 4. I see way to many of this type and they are no more than road clutter. I understand what is trying to be done but out of respect make it respectable.

A good question here is should someone not involved take an old unattended cross / memorial down when it all ends up in a heep along the road? Someone here also said something about stuffed animals a few years old taped to a cross. Plastic flowers are used as well. The whole thing has been unattended and is dirty without a visible name. Should it be removed? There are also local ordinances that prevent things being put in the parkway. I really don't care,  just saying if it disappears could it be in violation of an ordinance and that was why it was removed? I think whomever takes care of this in a jurisdiction should make every effort to make contact with the family should there be an issue with placement , purely out of respect. Pretty touchy subject!

Adrian: That is very nice!

[Xtracho]

I have seen Stars of David along the highway as well. Most that I see along "Bloody 98" as BF characterized it, are well kept. Personally I do not see where it's an issue & I agree with Willow. It's a very personal thing for those living the grief of having lost a loved one,, the great majority of them long before their time. I don't think anyone has the right to interfere with, complain about, or try to force them to remove them as long as they are maintained and kept up.

And the notion that you would not be reminded of the spot where your loved one died if there was no cross or memorial is kind of far fetched. People do not forget those places regardless.