I need a serious opinion (kinda long)

[Pete]

The following quote has meant more to me throughout life than anything I can remember.
A copy of it hangs on my wall, where I can see it everyday.
I believe it and I try to live it. I am not always successful but I keep trying.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."


Best wishes and prayers to you and your family.

[Daniel Meyer]

It'll sound trite...but I really do believe Life is a Road...how you travel it and your experiences along the way are at least as important as how far you go/where you end up.

Talk to your wife. Yep, it'll be difficult...but that challenge will pale in comparison to the one you're already facing down...and she deserves to be in on the conversation. If that fails, and I've seen it happen...then you must weigh things on your own/with your docs help...but she deserves the chance to know and understand. She likely already does.

I've known several folks that have ceased/declined further treatment. I've supported those decisions, as well as the ones that fought to the bitter end. It's a personal decision and nobody really knows what another is enduring. Quality of life is key...especially if there's no outlook for improved quality in the future...and even more so if the pain of treatment has a tenuous payback.

What's the prognosis if you stay on it vs stop treatment? Does it buy you a lot more time...and is that time worth the pain? These are the questions I would be considering.

I have seen death begged for...and I've seen it feared beyond reason.  Each time the folks have been seeking the same thing...peace. Different paths to a common goal.

I don't know what path is right for you...only you will. But I wish you and yours the best journey possible along it.

CUAgain.

[Skinhead]

I am really sorry that it has come to this point for you, and can't possibly imagine having to make the decisions you are faced with.  Although we've never met, I can only say I wish you the best and will support any decision you make.  That said these are my thoughts, but I have the luxury of not actually having to follow them:

Get on the Cannabis, forget that it may be illegal, that is only because big pharma won't be robbing you and the Gov hasn't figured a way to tax it yet.  My son has a close friend that is staying with him while being treated for stage 4 colon cancer,  He began his treatment when diagnosed with Cannabis only, and initially he was in remission.  Sadly it returned and he is continuing his canabis treatment with the blessing of his Drs. while undergoing treatment at the Cancer center in Newnan, Ga.  I could put you in touch with them if you'd like to talk to them about it.

I am also a believer in quality over quantity of life, but that as well is a decision only you can make and I hope I never have to make it.

PM me if you'd like to discuss contact info or sources.  Best of luck to you, it must have been very difficult for you to reach out like this, but I'm glad you did.  And know, we are here if you need us.

This is a link to a facebook post made by the fellow my son is friends with.  Very Inspiring.

https://www.facebook.com/macstuntman/posts/10154204195451332

[JimC]

Talk to your wife. Yep, it'll be difficult...but that challenge will pale in comparison to the one you're already facing down...and she deserves to be in on the conversation. If that fails, and I've seen it happen...then you must weigh things on your own/with your docs help...but she deserves the chance to know and understand. She likely already does.

I agree with Daniel on this one.
But it is your choice, I wish you luck with what ever you choose.

Jim

[BF]

I go for chemo tomorrow.  I'll try and talk to the Doc then...if I can get him to myself.

[RainMaker]

I've been thinking about your question for a while, how to answer a tough question from an unquestionably brave man.   

Theoretically, if it were me, I think I would fight for as long as I had hope of some kind of recovery or at least a status where I would still be living, not existing. 

I'd put trust in my doctor to help me with the decision.  The treatments might be working and due to the pain, I might not even be aware, so my doctor would be a big part and she is so good about being truthful, she would tell me what would happen with the different options.  Or if further treatment would be pointless. 

I'd also worry about the expense of keeping myself around for what might be a brief time and the pain my family would suffer as they saw me being so miserable. 

I'd selfishly wonder how they will get along without my help.

I would like to think I'd know when it's time to stop treatments and accept the outcome of that decision.  I've seen it with my parents and my grandparents.  They just decided it was time and they went to Heaven. 

If I were unsure or didn't think it was the time, then I think I would keep fighting and taking the drugs. 

You are still going to work, driving, now holding your weight after the big drop.  That doesn't sound like someone who is ready to go. 

Everyone is different.  Your decision will be based upon many factors.  Whatever you choose to do, it will be the right choice.

Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

RainMaker

[BF]

I've been thinking about your question for a while, how to answer a tough question from an unquestionably brave man.   

Theoretically, if it were me, I think I would fight for as long as I had hope of some kind of recovery or at least a status where I would still be living, not existing. 

I'd put trust in my doctor to help me with the decision.  The treatments might be working and due to the pain, I might not even be aware, so my doctor would be a big part and she is so good about being truthful, she would tell me what would happen with the different options.  Or if further treatment would be pointless. 

I'd also worry about the expense of keeping myself around for what might be a brief time and the pain my family would suffer as they saw me being so miserable. 

I'd selfishly wonder how they will get along without my help.

I would like to think I'd know when it's time to stop treatments and accept the outcome of that decision.  I've seen it with my parents and my grandparents.  They just decided it was time and they went to Heaven. 

If I were unsure or didn't think it was the time, then I think I would keep fighting and taking the drugs. 

You are still going to work, driving, now holding your weight after the big drop.  That doesn't sound like someone who is ready to go. 

Everyone is different.  Your decision will be based upon many factors.  Whatever you choose to do, it will be the right choice.

Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

RainMaker

Actually I'm still losing some weight....doc got onto me today about eating.  I'm down to 166 as of today.  I used to be on the very short side of 280.

[saddlesore]

My dad was a bah hum bug kind of guy so when he was diagnosed the first time the doctors sent him psychologists and therapists to work on him.  "don't you want to see your kids get married, watch your grandchildren grow up?"  So any way, did your doctors set you up with a therapists?
Still hope all goes well and hope you find peace.

[BF]

My dad was a bah hum bug kind of guy so when he was diagnosed the first time the doctors sent him psychologists and therapists to work on him.  "don't you want to see your kids get married, watch your grandchildren grow up?"  So any way, did your doctors set you up with a therapists?
Still hope all goes well and hope you find peace.

Read my "talk" post I posted tonight.  

Besides...I'm healthy mentally...or as anyone can be thats in my situation
.