COLONOSCOPY !

[..]

It's been awhile since this was on page 1.

Hopefully this will persuade more to "git 'er done".

http://www.valkyrieforum.com/bbs/index.php/topic,39570.0.html

[junior]

really step up to the plate and take it like a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  lol

[wiggydotcom]

Had it done last year for the first time after LaserPat's passing. I was 56 and 6 years past due. I also had an upper
GI which found a cancerous polyp in my duodenum. It was removed and I'm relatively in the clear. I'd like to think I owe my life
to that reminder from LaserPat's post.

[Popcorn]

Had mine about a month ago at the va hospital. Didn't put me to sleep

[bagelboy]

Went last year after a friend developed colon cancer. He told me not to be foolish and go. After seeing him suffer through treatments, I knew the colonoscopy was probably a breeze compared to his suffering. Glad I went. Doc said I was clean, and I got that feeling of " what if" off my mind. To everyone here, please go! It's no big deal!

[.]

Had one when I turned 50 on my doc's advice. No problems at all. The peace of mind over the past several years has been well worth the few minutes of minor discomfort.

[Doc809]

Had the privilege a couple of years ago of telling a patient that his colonoscopy was normal and that we did not find anything unusual on the exam.  He asked me if I would do him a huge favor and go out to the waiting room and tell his wife that we did not find his head up there either!

[G-Man]

Had one when I turned 50 on my doc's advice. No problems at all. The peace of mind over the past several years has been well worth the few minutes of minor discomfort.

Absolutely!   

[MacDragon]

Had it done a few years ago... Doc says see ya in ten years.  Whewww.!

[FLAVALK]

It's about time for my "re-do" 

[Rocky]

I'm having mine done Wednesday. It's my third one, I get it done ever three years. I watch my Dad die of colon cancer.....This is a piece of cake guys get it done

[Spirited-6]

Had mine about a month ago at the va hospital. Didn't put me to sleep
[/q

OUCH !! I had the same thing about 15 years ago. Was eight hours before I could stand up. All the last ones have been  nightie , nightie. 

[Daniel Meyer]

Not allowed till I turn 50... :/

[Patrick]

Colonoscopies are a real pain in the ass ! Had 3 of them. Actually they are really not that bad, getting ready for it keeps you close to home for a day ! My favorite part of having them is afterwards asking the nurses to 'pull my finger '. 

[old2soon]

From my front door to the V A hospital is about 110 miles one way. I have to have another driver with me or they won't do it. So I get to feed my ex B I L twice and me once and purchase 8 or 10 gallons of gasoline. And i'm here to tell you something boys and girls-it are WORTH 2 or 3 times my out of pocket for the peace of mind that comes when the Doctor says-Mr. Patterson-clean as a whistle-se ya in 5 years.  THAT my friends is priceless beyond belief. And I waited cause fer lack of a better description it just sounded-ICKY.  Any of you guys that are 50 or more and HAVE NOT had this done yet-it MIGHT save your life-they put me out and they probably will put you out-and it IS THE right thing to do for your self your family and your friends. DO NOT WAIT-get offin yer butt call your doctor make the appointment and MOST important-KEEP that appointment. What the hell are you waiting for??????????? It's simple-it's painless-and it MIGHT save yer life.  GO-NOW-DO IT.  RIDE SAFE.

[saddlesore]

Scheduled for a week from Monday.  Family history, so I'm over due for it.
It's a shitty thing to do but necessary.


My apologies if I offended anyone by that "dirty" word. 

[Regis]

This thread is worthless w/o pix ! Hahaha

[old2soon]

This thread is worthless w/o pix ! Hahaha

Envision a tube 19 feet in diameter and 28341 feet long up yer butt.  No NOT really but someone had a link posted last year about a reporter who had written on his experiences on what he heard and what actually transpired. And what he wrote is funny I M H O. RIDE SAFE.

[f6gal]

(Lookin' Up My) Back Door

[czuch]

So lame to put it off. The worst part is the colonic broom.
I always ask for the longer thicker one. 

[f6gal]

Here ya go, Old2Soon

This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.  I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.  I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.  Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.  MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.  Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.  I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

ABOUT THE WRITER:
Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.  

[Daniel Meyer]

(Lookin' Up My) Back Door

Oh my LOL!

[Art708]

 I had my re-do last July. The doc found 3 polyps, non-cancerous. But he said to come back in 3 years just because he found those, otherwise it would have been 10 years again.

[f6gal]

On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments made during the exam were rather humorous:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

[Wizzard]

On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments made during the exam were rather humorous:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

My Doc who likes to joke with me actually put #13 on my report and showed it to my wife. 

[john]

        

[ricoman]

they are important
don't fart around, get it done
then you'll fart around (for sure)

[saddlesore]

I dabble in photography and took some pictures a couple of years ago that might fit the occasion.
















Actually I was spelunking but I always thought it looked colonic. 

[ricoman]

hey, Saddlesore
that's another reason to cave in and get one!

[.]

Hey Saddlesore, I recall enough about my own experience to say I could have gone all day without seeing those cave pictures in a thread about colonoscopy  procedures, mainly because that's just way too real looking. 

[Tundra]

I felt like I was in there for 5 minutes, prepped me, rolled me in, next thing I know I'm in the recovery room.
  The worst part was the cleansing prior to the procedure and that horrible tasting drink. I had the red/cherry flavor, now I can't even drink a red/punch Gatorade, seriously I start to dry heave.

[Novavalker]

If you have any colon cancer history in your family tree then get a colonoscopy more often. Don't wait until your 50.
You can always do a hemoccult test at home if your under 50 years of age.

[Denny47]

Just had my second one a couple of months ago. A couple of non cancerous polyps which he removed. Good to go for another 3 yrs. Guess I'm lucky with my doctor. He does not do the gallon of crap. Two Dulcolax laxatives and a 10 oz. bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Mix 5 oz. of that with that much 7-up at two separate times and then go, go, go. Not supposed to have anything red colored prior to the procedure.