Thinking it's time for a joke thread.

[DIGGER]

Cant believe I forgot to go to the gym today....
Man....that makes 3 yrs in a row....

[DIGGER]

I was eating lunch at Mc Donalds when I noticed a kid about 8 yrs old staring at me.....
He came walking over to me and asked me " why are you so ugly?"
I thought a minute and leaned over and whispered in his ear..."I'm not supposed to tell but I came back in a time machine and I'm YOU from the future"
He ran back to his family table and cried for 20 minutes.......

[DIGGER]

A man at the bar said his best friend fell off his motorcycle today......
I said "Oh..really...".  The man said "Yeah...he has brain damage, two broken arms, and is blind in one eye".  I said "Well heck... no wonder he fell off his bike..."

[DIGGER]

Walmart thinks that I want to put up my Christmas tree
and eat Turkey while
wearing my Halloween costume.

[DIGGER]

Have you noticed.....ever since Trump renamed the
Gulf of Mexico to now be called The Gulf of America.....
Not one hurricane has DARED to enter the gulf......

[da prez]

  So I called my mom. "Mom, come pick me up from this sleep over. I want to come home.
   NO , she replied , you are 47 years old and that is your wife and children.

                                         da prez

[John Schmidt]

Ross, I used the "sleepover" description once when chatting with my mother. She kinda giggled when dad commented..."son, you have four kids, not much sleeping going on I'd say!"

[da prez]